


Cough Syrup

by TheRoonilWazzlib



Series: Fake it 'til you make it [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Child Abuse, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard is a dick, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Beta Read, Physical Abuse, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27848050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoonilWazzlib/pseuds/TheRoonilWazzlib
Summary: Now that it's real, not just a deal anymore, Tony is trying is best to not fuck up. He really is. But sometimes, things are just out of control. His ex is a bitch, his father is... What he is, so what is he supposed to do ? He loves Bucky, he can't just let go. (Besides, he tried that already.)Bucky just wants Tony. He loves Tony. And okay, things aren't that great some times, but you have to try right ? So he'll keep on trying. He'll keep his idiot if he wants to, goddamnit.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Fake it 'til you make it [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038530
Comments: 111
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey !!
> 
> Finally, the sequel is here !! 
> 
> fair warning, i don’t know if it will be updated regularly, so you may have to wait a bit in between chapters, but I’ll do my best ! It may not be as long as Fake it ‘til you make it but here we go !!
> 
> Also the tags are NOT definitive, since the story isn’t, and it may become a bit dark around here, so I’ll probably add trigger warning in the notes before each chapter. 
> 
> That said, I hope you enjoy it as much as the first one !

New Year had never been something important to Tony, before. He had always used the pretext to drink himself into oblivion, not caring the least what would happen during the little soirees. The 1rst of January was spent in a hangover haze, trying to not die from alcohol poisoning. 

This New Year’s Eve had been different. Really, very, different. First off, he had not drank more than a cup of champagne. And only with a very full stomach.  
When the little squad told him they were going to a little restaurant in town, and that he was invited, he was grateful. His parents still hadn’t been back from Malibu, and he wouldn’t have dared just insert himself in Bucky’s plan. Bucky hadn’t even invited him really, it was simply on the group chat that Natasha had mentioned this year's restaurant's name and address without any context. Tony had kept silent, not understanding anything, while everyone agreed, when she asked him “So, coming or not.”  
Bucky was actually with him at this point, and he explained that he had forgotten to invite him, but he would be really happy if Tony could come with them. He accepted, and even proposed to the entire group to do the after party at his home, since there was enough room for everyone to sleep here. They all agreed. He felt like a kid. Was he having his actual slumber party at his own house at 17 ? Apparemment. 

So, they went to the nice restaurant picked out by Natasha. Bucky’s hand in his as often as they could manage while eating. They then went back to the manor, where Jarvis had reluctantly agreed to let them have some champagne (because after all, Tony had plenty at galas and reception, so..). They put on music, danced. And at midnight, Bucky grabbed him, and kissed him. It tasted like a promise. Tony couldn’t get enough. They separated only when the whistles were too loud to ignore. They cheered and celebrated a bit more, laughter ringing in the house. Tony didn’t remember a time when so many cheerful people were gathered here. It was only Pepper and Rhodey, usually. Rarely. He much prefered going to their houses. They weren’t as silent, at least. 

They finally decided to go to bed around 3 am, all separating to go into different bedrooms, except Tony and Bucky. Weirdly self conscious all of the sudden, Tony put on a pyjama in the adjoined bathroom, before letting Bucky use it. He waited, sat on the bed. Each second Bucky was out of view, Tony got more nervous. He didn’t understand why, but it was just the case. But finally, Bucky got out, in a proper sleeping attire too, and smiled.  
It was enough for all of Tony’s nerves to fuck off. He pushed the covers, letting Bucky slide under the covers and did the same. Without thinking, almost in sync, they both grabbed each other and a minute later, he was resting half on Bucky, the soothing beating of his heart under his ear soothing him. 

\- “I’ve never done this.” He confessed, in a whisper. 

\- “Done what ?” He replied, in the same hush voice.

\- “Just.. Slept with someone. With nothing before. And without being just so hammered that it was more “passing out” than sleeping.” 

\- “Oh.” 

\- “I like it.” He said, after a small silence, smiling like a goof against the torso of his boyfriend. How could he not smile like an idiot anyways ? He had his boyfriend, first real relationship, in his bed. That was something, wasn’t it ? 

\- “Good. Me too.” Bucky tightened his grip on him, and Tony could almost hear the grin in his voice. 

\- “Do you have any resolution, this year ?” He bit his lip, lifting his head a bit to look at him.

\- “No. Not really. I find it’s a bit dumb to set yourself an arbitrary date to get stuff done or started.” 

\- “Oh.” Tony blushed, and hoped Bucky couldn’t see it. He was looking all serious, when he finally broke into a big grin.

\- “I’m kidding.” Tony visibly relaxed, and they laughed a bit at the stupid joke. “But I don’t think I have really one. Do you ?” 

\- “Nah. Don’t think of anything. Maybe eat more of your pies..” 

\- “Right.” Bucky chuckled. “What about… A couple’s resolution ?” 

\- “Keep going.” Tony started mindlessly drawing a pattern on his arm. 

\- “Well.. What about we talk to each other. We communicate, for real.” 

Ah. So that was still a sore subject. They hadn’t talked much, after the reconciliation. Tony had given James his gift, they cuddled - Tony was too out by fatigue and headache after crying his eyes out to properly make out - and Jarvis had insisted on taking Bucky home. They had seen each other for real the day after, but apart from hanging out in the neighborhood, getting a nice coffee together and more cuddling - as well as a bit of making out this time - but neither one of them wanted to bring back the subject. For Tony, it was mostly by fear. Fear of what ? Probably for Bucky realizing he had been wrong to want his sorry ass for real. Probably of Bucky realizing he was a dumbass for trusting Tony with a relationship.  
So of course, he tensed right up when he heard Bucky saying that. Because of course, it was a reference to Tony-being-an-idiot-gate. Of course. He bit the inside of his cheek, searching for an answer, for the right one precisely.

\- “Hey, relax.” James seemed to notice him immediately. “It’s not an order or anything, and I don’t want us to become those.. Weird couples who text each minute of every day. Just.. Next time you’re having doubts.. Maybe tell me before drawing conclusions by yourself ?” 

He looked so earnest about it. So sincere. Even if it was pretty dark in the room, Tony could just see how Bucky just wanted to make things work. And there was no discussion, Tony wanted it too. 

\- “Yeah. New Year resolution this year.. Talk to you.” 

Bucky smiled. It seemed to warm everything up. It certainly made him warm inside. And Tony could only smile when he saw him grabbing the “dogtags”. 

\- “Good. Because apparently I have your heart, so.. I wanna take care of it, yeah ?” 

\- “Slow your rolls, there Barnes.” Tony puffed, smiling. “Never said I gave you my heart. We’re not there yet.” 

\- “Well, I’m holding the proof you did..” 

\- “Nah, you’re holding the proof that I’m not an asshole, really, calm down.” The words had no bite, and they were both smiling too much.

\- “Yeah ?” Bucky raised his brows.

\- “Yeah.” He nodded.

\- “Fine. You brought this on yourself, Stark.” 

And he started to tickle him. Soon, the entire room was just filled with his laughters, and fake threats from Bucky. He was trying his best to escape, but to no avail. 

\- “St-Stop ! J-Jame-mes, stop !” He was stuttering with laughter, trying to grab the evil hands. 

\- “Want me to stop, hey ?” He paused, even his hands, and looked at Tony, smiling. “Call me Bucky.” 

He opened his mouth, like it was the biggest shock he had ever received. He secretly enjoyed the reprieve, and tried to even out his breathing. 

\- “Call you.. B-.. No. Never. I’d rather die.” 

\- “Fine. You chose your fate.” And he was at it again, making him cry of laughter, when suddenly loud bangs at the wall stopped them. 

\- “We want to sleep guys !! Go the fuck to sleep !” Steve’s voice was muffled by the wall. Tony had been loud. They looked at each other, shocked, and just burst one again, laughing together. 

They finally calmed down, after a little while, and just put themselves back into position, like nothing happened. The silence was a comfortable one, and Tony felt his eyelids becoming heavy, when he heard the small whisper. 

\- “I love you.” 

He smiled, rubbing a bit his head against Bucky’s torso.

\- “I love you too.” 

It had been a great New Year’s Eve. And a great 1rst of January. They all ate an awesome brunch, talking and exchanging more stories between them, like the night before. Tony had never felt this good in a group setting. He wasn’t just “Bucky’s boyfriend”, too, he was genuinely friends with every person in the group. And he had to admit, that was one of the best feelings in the world.

When they finally all went home, Tony fought viciously against the tiny pain in his chest, the sudden lonely feeling coming back. But he then received plenty of pictures to remember that awesome holiday, so he felt like maybe things were really turning out for him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! 
> 
> So, I just noticed once again I had the "complete" thing turned on, sorry for that ! 
> 
> Back again with Bucky's POV :) 
> 
> Hope you like it ! And once again, thank you for following my story :) 
> 
> Trigger Warning : I'm adding "Child abuse" "Physical abuse" as tags, and there are mentions of it in this chapter, even if it’s nothing too graphic.

Bucky whined again, head into his pillow. That got another groan out of Steve.    
  
\- “Oh my god, Bucky, stop. You haven’t seen him for 4 days, it’s nothing ! You’ll see him on monday and I don’t know, cuddle him to death or whatever it is that you wanna do.”    
  
\- “I have every right to be frustrated, Steven.” Bucky got up, getting himself in a sitting position, just to be able to glare at Steve. “It’s not that I don’t see him-” He almost had to duck a punch from Steve. “Okay, it’s a little bit that too, but mainly it’s that I can’t talk to him.”    
  
Steve just let out a sigh. They already had this conversation, of course, but since Steve was a good friend, they could have one more. Bucky couldn’t help but be sad, after all.   
  
\- “I know, it sucks. But at least, he had time to warn you that his Dad was going to be back, and he wouldn’t be able to talk to you that much. He has work to do.” Even if they still didn’t get what kind of work Tony could really have, since he was just a teenager, and he seemed to shut in whenever they asked. “I’m sure he’s as desperate as you.”    
  
\- “Maybe not.” Bucky pouted. Actually pouted like a child. Love made him do dumb things. “Maybe he’s deep into his stuff and doesn’t even think about me.”    
  
\- “Now you’re just being stupid.” He rolled his eyes. “Now stop being a mopping mop, or I’ll call Natasha.”    
  
\- “Please don’t.” He wrinkled his nose at the thought. He loved Natasha, but tough love wasn’t something he really needed at the moment.    
  
\- “Then stop.” They looked into each other's eyes for a minute, almost without blinking.   
  
\- “Fine !” He threw his hands up. “Let’s.. Let’s just play video-games and pretend I’m not miserable.”    
  
\- “Yes. Yes let’s do that.”    
  
Poor Steve.    
  
Monday rolled around (slowly, in Bucky’s opinion), and when they both made their ways out, a flashy red car was waiting for them in front of the building. Bucky couldn’t help but grin like a maniac, and he literally ran toward the car. He still had time to hear Steve’s sigh, again.    
He opened the car quickly, almost threw himself in the passenger side - mindful of the thermos of coffee in his hand - and immediately leaned toward Tony for a kiss. Tony obliged, of course, putting a hand on his cheek before kissing him. A nice, slow, sweet kiss. That was brutally interrupted by Steve clearing his throat. Damn Steve. They broke the kiss and both turned toward him to outright glare at him. Well, at least Bucky did. He imagined Tony did the same.    
  
\- “Hey Tony.” Steve only said, with all the innocence of the world on his face.    
  
\- “Hello, Steven.” Tony said, still looking at him - and Bucky finally looked at him properly and noticed he was wearing sunglasses. Well, it wasn’t really bright out, but it was probably for style.   
  
Tony finally broke character, and smiled at Steve, fist-bumping him before turning back to face the road. Bucky gave him the thermos before he started the car, and like usual, he drank maybe half of it before putting it in the cup-hold and starting to drive. Bucky couldn’t help but to look at him, even if he couldn’t look at much, but he had missed this sight. And he couldn’t help but to think : Now it was all real. Official. They were two boyfriends (and a Steve) going to school together. The thought made him giddy inside. They made small talk, mostly Steve and Tony, as usual, trading small jabs and discussing the rest of their holidays. Bucky just wanted to talk a bit alone to Tony, so he simply waited.   
  
When they parked, Steve, getting the message easily, told them they would see him later and went his way quickly. They were pretty early (a lot by Tony standards, if Bucky understood Bruce. Before their “deal”, Tony would often show up really late.), so Bucky took his time to get out of the car, and blinked when Tony was already on his side. He smiled, and opened his arms in an invitation Bucky couldn’t refuse. So he cuddled close, breathing in the scent of Tony’s cologne.    
  
\- “I missed you.” He said, in a low voice. It was an admission he was almost ashamed off, after all 5 days without his boyfriends were nothing, but still. It had been quite lame, right after their little crise.    
  
\- “Missed you too, Sugarplum.” Tony smiled. “A lot.” He took a step back, to be able to look at Bucky.    
  
\- “Why are you wearing sunglasses, it’s not even bright outside.”    
  
\- “Style.” He shrugged. So Bucky was right. But still, he wanted to see his boyfriend properly, so he put his hands over the stems to take it off, but Tony quickly caught his hands. “No, don’t.”   
  
\- “Why ?” He frowned. “I want to see your face.”    
  
\- “James…”    
  
\- “Don’t James me.” Something was off. “Why don’t you want to take them off ?”    
  
\- “Alright. Fine. But don’t flip out, okay ? It’s too early for that. Well, actually, even later, don’t.” He took off the glasses.   
  
Bucky blinked. Tony had put in a nice thought, concerning the whole “don’t flip out”. Bucky would consider it later.   
  
\- “The fuck Tony ? How did you get that ?” He almost put his fingers on the rather impressive black-eye, already turning greenish and yellow, but thought better of it and didn’t dare.    
  
\- “Was working. And a wrench fell on my face. Because I’m stupid. So, all in all, I’m pretty lucky..”   
  
\- “A wrench ?!”    
  
\- “Babe, I said don’t flip out…” Tony had the audacity to whine about it. God.    
  
\- “Why weren’t you wearing safety equipment ?!”    
  
\- “Was distracted. Won’t happen again.” Tony clearly didn’t want to talk about it all that much. He put his glasses back on, and finished off his coffee, as to avoid talking some more. Bucky bit the inside of his cheek.   
  
\- “M’sorry. I flipped out.” He took his free hand gently. “I just.. Don’t wanna see you hurt. Sorry.”    
  
\- “Well. Can hardly stay mad at you, then.” Tony smiled, even though it seemed like a fragile smile, but he kissed Bucky again and all was well, in the moment.    
  
They finally took off towards classes, Tony letting go off him only because Bruce was starting to threaten him, and because Bucky said in any case they were having a date lunch.    
The black-eye didn’t leave his mind though, and soon Steve cornered him in between classes.    
  
\- “What’s up dude ? I thought you would be all.. Giddy from seeing your boyfriend, but you’re worse than before !”    
  
\- “What ? No I’m not.”   
  
\- “You are.” Steve pushed him lightly. “Spill.”   
  
\- “M’worried, that’s all.” He put his hands in his pockets.    
  
\- “‘Bout what ?” Steve pushed.    
  
\- “Nunya.”    
  
\- “What’s Nun-.. Bucky !” Well, no pun this time, but it had come close to it. “C’mon. I’m your friend.”    
  
\- “Doesn’t change a thing.”    
  
\- “Is it about Tony ?” He asked, getting closer and using a lower voice. Bucky didn’t want to say it. It was technically none of Steve’s business if Tony had a black-eye. But at the same time, it wasn’t something he had to hide, was it ?    
  
\- “Will you drop it ?”   
  
\- “No.” Was the reply, with a raised eyebrow. Bucky knew that face. He couldn’t do anything about it.    
  
\- “Fine. Yes, it is about Tony. But it’s nothing, really, so.. Drop it.”   
  
\- “Bucky, you have to tell me. Did you already fight ? Thought you were having a lunch-date.”    
  
\- “We are, we didn’t fight !” Why on earth would they have already had a fight ? And what about, they were barely together again. “You’re the worst, you know that Steve ? He has a black-eye. That’s all.”   
  
\- “Oh. That’s why he was wearing the glasses…” Steve was only voicing his thought, but Bucky nodded to confirm it nonetheless. “How did he get it ?”   
  
\- “Accident while working he said. Something about a wrench.” Steve grimaced.   
  
\- “A wrench ? Fuck. Lucky he’s fine then.” He shrugged.    
  
\- “Yeah.” He bit his lip, playing with a bit of change he had in the inside of his pocket. “D’you think he should have told me before I tried to take off his glasses ?”   
  
\- “Uh ?” He blinked. “I don’t know. Maybe he just didn’t want you to worry too much. Maybe he forgot about it.”    
  
\- “Maybe.” Bucky wasn’t convinced.    
  
\- “What. What’s going on now, in your big head ?”    
  
\- “You’re the one with the big head.” He wrinkled his nose. “Nothing. Just.. Do you really think he told me the truth ?”    
  
\- “Why would he lie ?” Well. That was something, of course. Why ? “Besides, he mentioned working too much this morning. Maybe he was just tired, and when you’re tired, you’re clumsy.”    
  
Bucky had a weird feeling. A gut feeling. Something was off. But he didn’t know what. And he was probably being stupid.    
  
\- “Yeah, you’re right.” He nodded.   
  
\- “Always am.” He smiled. “So. Where are you taking him ?”   
  
\- “Bold of you to think it’s not him treating me to lunch.”    
  
\- “Right. One day, you’ll get to pay for anything… One day.”    
  
They both laughed, and Bucky decided to chase the feeling away. It was probably nothing. They went on to their next classes, joking about Tony’s magic ability to pay for everything in the blink of an eye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! 
> 
> Nothing much today, more of Tony's insecurities mostly... 
> 
> I still hope you like it !

When he finally went home, Tony felt exhausted. It was a rare feeling for him, he usually could do binge work after binge work, on top of school, for as long as he could remember. That and partying. Even if the partying was almost always at the end of said work binge.  
But even if it was just the start of school, that he had endured only a day, he felt tired. So, so tired.   
But it wasn’t that surprising. Howard had come back, fresh after the New Year, angry at Tony for leaving Malibu early, and with tons of work. Tony didn’t have much time, even to breathe, between coding and coding some more, and sometimes even doing some prototyping for his dad. It was as if his whole R&D department was useless. (It wasn’t, not really. It was just that Howard probably wanted to form Tony. Or some bullshit like that. Like at 17, he had to work for the family company already.)   
  
He threw himself on top of his bed, wishing for a little coma to set him up. It was already an improvement though, since it was only a coma and not death, as opposed to his wishes when he was with Sunset. He couldn’t tell that texto to Bucky, but his boyfriend was a good influence on him. A wonderful, perfect influence.   
And that was the problem, maybe, in a sense. Since he was with Bucky, he was overthinking everything. Especially since the After-Christmas incident. He was trying to be better, but could he really ? What would Bucky think of him, if he knew what he was working on, in his spare time ?   
  
Well, this one was a half-truth. Since his real, true, spare time, was coding his idiot robot. Dum-E. It wasn’t much, not by far. But he liked this project, and it was nice to code something else than a new and evolved targeting system.   
He went to rub his face, but groaned. He had forgotten all about his shiner, fucking thing, and it was still painful. He hated that Bucky had seen it, but at least his alibi was not that bad. After all, he wasn’t about to just outright say “My father made it to me.”   
Howard had been angry. He had been since the New Year. Or maybe since he broke up with Sunset. The most probable answer was since his birth, but maybe Tony was a drama-queen there.   
He had talked back. Howard had a glass, or two, or four, and the hit must have been a reflexe. The bastard had some strength, for an old goat. He had dismissed Tony right after, and had left him alone since. His way of apologising, maybe.   
  
He hated the face James had made when seeing it. But he hated even more than it had pleased him, just a bit, deep down. Because Bucky had seemed concerned. He was genuinely concerned about Tony. When Sunset would have shrugged and told him to hide it because people would talk.   
Like she had never done some marks of her own.   
He took his phone and noticed almost two dozen texts in the group chat. Probably most of them from Clint, the bastard was talkative.  
  
 _Nat <3 - 18:12 : Movie night ? We thought about it with Clint. Maybe Friday ?   
  
Clint - 18:13 : But you can’t choose all of them, you always choose scary ones  
  
Nat <3 - 18:15 : It’s all the purpose of movie night, Barton. Would you prefer we watch dumb rom-com ? Where’s the fun in that ?   
  
Clint : 18:16 : Uh, in sleeping after ?????   
  
Nat <3 - 18:17 : Baby. So who’s in for movie night ?   
  
Stevie - 18:18 : Count me in.  
  
BAEtiful - 18:18 : Big yes  
  
SamSam - 18:19 : Of course.   
  
Clint - 18:19 : If I say I refuse in case of scary movies, will it change the program ?   
  
Bruce - 18:20 : With pleasure, Nat :)   
  
Nat <3 - 18:21 : It won’t, Barton. But I know you’ll come.   
  
Clint - 18:21 : I hate you.   
  
Nat <3 - 18:22 : I know. Tony you in ??   
  
Nat <3 - 18:30 : @Tony ?? You in ?   
  
Clint - 18:32 : Maybe he’s not home yet. Don’t text and drive, Tones !!  
  
Clint - 18:32 : Wait, don’t read and drive either   
  
Samsam - 18:33 : If Bucky answered quickly, bro must be home by now.  
  
_ _BAEtiful - 18:35 : He should, yes, but maybe he’s busy. Chill out guys._   
  
Of course, his James would defend him. He was nice like that. Tony felt an urge of love for his boyfriend, and could only imagine (and gag at the vision) the dopey smile he was probably sporting at the moment. He took a moment to just think about how much he was in love, (and perhaps fall a bit asleep while watching his ceiling) before finally answering when Bucky texted him in private.  
  
 _BAEtiful - 18:40 : Hope you got home okay.  
  
To BAEtiful - 18:41 : Sorry, I was talking to Jarvis. Got home okay, dw <3   
  
To The Brights and Beautifuls (minus Clint) - 18:42 : Idk yet about Friday guys  
  
Clint - 18:43 : You have to come Tony !! It’s our first Movie Night of the year ! It’s symbolic !!   
  
Nat - 18:45 : You’re saying that just because Tony’s the only one who still agrees to sit next to you and shield you from the horrors on screen…  
  
Clint - 18:45 : Am not  
  
SamSam - 18:46 : Everyone knows the truth…  
  
_ _Stevie - 18:47 : Sorry to burst your bubble, Clint, but Nat is right… And don’t feel pressured to come, Tony, we understand if you can’t :)_   
  
In what world Tony would become good, really good friends with Steve Rogers ? Apparently this one. He still couldn’t believe that fact. It was kind of surreal. He had always thought Steve hated him. And well, he had been right, Bucky confirmed it - as the others did, with a blushing and apologizing Steve - but now, he could almost say Steve was quickly becoming as good of a friend as Bruce. And that was saying something.  
The fact that the guy was concerned about him made him feel all weird. It was only Pepper, Rhodey and Bruce, usually. But now apparently, they had competition.   
  
_BAEtiful - 18:50 : Steve’s right, babe. There’ll always be more movie nights  
  
Clint - 18:51 : Come on Bucky !! It’s your boyfriend, be with me on this one !!   
  
__BAEtiful - 18:52 : Shut up Clinton._   
  
Tony thought about the week ahead of him. About last year, when after a work binge, he would just party and drink and still be (mostly) fine. Maybe a movie night would help him blow a bit of pressure, after all. And it wasn’t as if it would be that exhausting.   
  
_To The Brights and Beautifuls (minus Clint) - 18:53 : okok, fine, Clint wins. I’ll try to be here :) As long as there’s greasy food.  
  
Clint - 18:54 : You’re the best !!!!   
  
BAEtiful - 18:54 : :) <3   
  
BAEtiful - 18:55 : Omg Clint stop it   
  
__Nat <3 - 18:56 : There will be Anthoshka, just for you._   
  
  
Tony kind of dissociated, after that. He fell asleep, like a log. He was so, so tired. His last thought before leaving his body was : How come last week he was so very happy, but the moment his father was back in the picture, everything went to shit ? Well, he was still happy, but he was too dead inside to properly enjoy it. In any case, his wish about a coma finally came true… Sleep was sweet.  
  
He woke up with a start, the sun in his face, still clothed, and lost. And then he looked at the time, and completely freaked. He had been supposed to go get Bucky, and now he wasn’t like 10 minutes late. He was 2 hours late. Jarvis was used to Tony waking up on his own (when he didn’t go partying), so the man surely hadn’t bothered to do it this morning. And now, he was epically late, and had maybe caused Bucky (and Steve) to be. And he didn’t even care about himself, honestly, the teachers were used to him disappearing, not showing up, or simply being late, but he felt super bad for Bucky.   
  
\- “Fuuuck. Fuck fuck fuck !”   
  
He got up quickly, and went to check his phone. Texts from the group (probably from yesterday and thus non-important at the moment), from Bucky and Steve, as well as missed calls from both of them. He felt so bad.   
But when he went to read it, expecting anger - he had let them down, after all, they had rights to be pretty pissed off - he only found concern. Both Bucky and Steve were wondering if anything had happened to him. He took time to read this quickly, and getting dressed in a hurry (shower would have to wait when he wasn’t worrying his boyfriend), he shot out the door, and texted on his way to his car.  
  
 _To BAEtiful - 10:41 : im so sorry i jist woke up ill be here in 20 min i’m realsorry_  
  
When he arrived, he saw that the break wasn’t before half an hour and saw no point in going to class, so he decided to just wait for Bucky at the end of his, which was math. He anxiously checked his phone, but of course, James was generally a good student and wasn’t using it in class. So he waited, jittery and anxious, for the door to finally open.   
  
He first saw Steve, who gaped at him, and who dragged Bucky. And when Bucky saw him, it was as if he had disappeared from the world for months on end. He threw himself at him and hugged him, almost squishing him as hard as their reconciliation after the Incident.  
  
\- “Oh my god, I was so worried…” He mumbled, in his neck.   
  
\- “Uh, sorry.. I just.. Over-slept. Bad. Very sorry.”   
  
\- “First time you’re not coming. And you weren’t answering your phone, even yesterday night I… I don’t know.” He finally took a small step back. “I overacted.”   
  
\- “I had to convince him not to go to your house.” Steve shrugged. “I mean, if you still hadn’t given any sign of life by tonight, we would have but... “   
  
\- “Shut up Steve.” Bucky glared at him. Tony felt another urge of affection for his boyfriend.  
  
\- “I’m really sorry. I was just.. Scratched. I guess I fell asleep yesterday without realizing and.. Yeah. Sorry.”   
  
He was a bad boyfriend. He wasn’t used to a real relationship, where the other cared about him, and now he was freaking out. He was fucking up. He worried Bucky over nothing, by being stupid.   
  
\- “Don’t apologize, I knew you were tired I.. I worried, that’s all.” Bucky made a small smile. “Don’t worry.”   
  
\- “Did you got here late, ‘cause of me ?” He asked, and he must have looked anxious, because Bucky gave him another hug.   
  
\- “No. Since you’re never late, we decided to take a bus quickly. And even if, it wouldn’t have been your fault..”  
  
\- “Well, a bit…”  
  
\- “No. Shut up.”   
  
He was about to open his mouth to reply, but Steve shook his head, and he decided to listen to the man.   
Maybe he hadn’t fuck up then.   
  
\- "Sorry. I love you."  
  
\- "I love you too." Bucky smiled. Tony would do anything for this smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey !! 
> 
> Bucky's POV for today. I hope you like it, it's mostly fluff, with a bit of plot. 
> 
> We're starting off the real angst probably next chapter, so brace yourselves !

The week was almost up, they only needed to go through Friday and tonight was movie night. They had decided to do this at Nat, since she was the one with the most room after Tony. And after thinking about it long and hard, he finally had the balls to ask his Ma if Tony could sleep at his. She had been hesitant, but had accepted… After giving him a sex-talk really awkward. Like Bucky was going to jump Tony. (Okay, maybe he was starting to think about that a lot, like.. A lot lot, but still. It was going to be the first night they would spend together, since the New Year, and he was fine with just sleeping. Especially at his house... )   
So he had asked Tony, who agreed, and told him he would drive him and Steve home.    
  
In all honesty, they all kind of hoped he would propose his house for the night, but they quickly understood that his father was in town, and if Mr Stark was around, no one would be putting a foot in Tony’s house. Apparently if he was out, it would have been an open bar ( and Bucky knew it was true, Jarvis was too nice not to make Tony’s friends feel at home in the manor), and it would have been kind of great, but it was a no go. Bucky wondered if he would ever meet Howard Stark, or if one day Tony would really open up a bit more about his family, but it was still too early to think too much about that. Family seemed like a very sore subject, and Bucky wasn’t the type to just push things too far. Tony would talk when he wanted.    
  
Tony hadn’t been late again. In fact, he even made a point in being early the next time he came to take Bucky to school. But Bucky noticed the bags under his eyes becoming heavier ( well at least under his uninjured one, since the bruise was starting to fade at the other one it wasn’t as easy to see), and how Tony became more light headed. He had only come to eat lunch with them on Wednesday, and was nowhere to be seen since then at break. Even Bruce didn’t manage to coax him out, and Tony only said he had too much work. When Bucky asked, Tony apologized, and he meant it, but he explained that he just had too much on his plate this week to really take a break. But he was very sorry, and Bucky didn’t have it in him to just stay mad at him. And he couldn’t even ask what he was working on, since Tony kissed him, and who was he to still think while his boyfriend was kissing him ?    
  
Bucky was still starting to be a tiny bit worried about the whole ordeal. He wondered what was so important for Tony to work on so much, because clearly school wasn’t posing this much trouble for him. He had even suggested helping Bucky in physics, since it was still a problematic area for him (and Bucky found it cute, since it was how they had met.), and he was great at teaching. So yeah. And “something at SI” was not helping, since they had fingers in way too many pies to count. Maybe he was starting to see the business side of things, at the insistence of his dad. All Bucky knew was that it was his dad who was pushing him to do it.    
  
\- “Bucky to earth, Bucky to earth ?” Steve asked. They were just out of class, walking toward the cafeteria. He realized he had been used to eating with Tony, and not listening to the banter between Clint and him was just lame. He hated this dumb situation.    
  
\- “Yeah ?” He rose an eyebrow.   
  
\- “Asked you if Tony was coming to eat with us today.”    
  
\- “I don't know, he said he would if he could.” Bucky didn’t think he would be able. But still, he kind of hoped.    
  
\- “Okay.” He looked at Bucky. “Don’t make this face. I’m sure he misses you too.”    
  
\- “I know he does.” He tried to act smug.    
  
Tony didn’t come. He still apologized by text, stating that he would be right on time to take Steve and him to Nat’s. At least he would get cuddles, so things could get worse. They made the movie list during lunch, Bruce stating that he would represent Tony, ending up accepting pretty much everything - Apparently Tony once said that scary movies weren’t as scary as pissing off his friend Pepper Potts - but still texting him the list. 3 thumbs up emojies later, they were all in agreement. (Except Clint, but Clint didn’t count when you talked about horror movies. Natasha said he shouldn’t have any opinions in cinema anyways, and that started a debate for the rest of the break.)    
  
The rest of the day passed, slow as molasses, and Bucky was quite ready to jump out of his chair by the time the bell finally rang and set them free. He was the first one out of the door, and if Steve wouldn’t have made fun of him, would have already been waiting for his boyfriend in the parking lot. But he wasn’t desperate to the point of running so, he had to pretend like everything was chill. He made a face when two (2 !!) whole minutes passed by without Tony, when he heard a honk behind him. Tony was already in his car, waiting for them, and of course he had to quote Mean Girls.   
  
\- “Get in losers, we’re going shopping.” He grinned.   
  
\- “What ?” Steve seemed lost. Bucky made a mental note to show him Mean Girls one day. But right now, he just smiled at Tony with all his teeth and got in the car, leaning in for a kiss. When he got it, it was finally an okay day.    
  
\- “Hey, babe.”    
  
\- “Hey, Sugarplum.” He stroked his cheek gently. They were drowning in each other's eyes.    
  
\- “So, are we actually going shopping ?” Steve had a way of breaking everything.    
  
\- “No, we aren’t, Steven.” Tony replied, rolling his eyes. “At least I don’t think. Tasha didn’t say anything.” And when Steve started to open his mouth he quickly added. “It’s a movie reference.”    
  
\- “Oh. Right.”    
  
Bucky chuckled at the exchange, and looking down, he saw a crushed can of energy drink in the cup holder. He didn’t have time to ask though.   
  
\- “So, we’re waiting for Clint I think, Tasha said he was banned from her car after an incident.”    
  
\- “Powdered doughnut incident, yeah.” He responded, while him and Steve both nodded at the memory.    
  
\- “Right. Well, he better not do any of that here.” He squinted at the idea of powdered sugar getting everywhere. He was right, really.    
  
Clint arrived, fairly quickly, and after some light banter and threats ( Clint wasn’t to bring any food inside Tony’s car, or else…), they drove towards Natasha’s.    
Bucky felt finally really good. Tony seemed fine, putting his hand on his thigh whenever he could, being sassy toward Clint and Steve, and smiling a lot. Still, you could see the bags under his eyes, but still.    
  
They arrived just in time to Tasha’s house, and met with the rest of the crew inside. Tony said his hello’s to everyone, blushing maybe a bit at Natasha’s kiss on his cheek. They put everything in place, snacks, drinks and bringing out plaids to get cozy. Clint whined like a baby for a solid 5 minutes when they all decided to turn down all lights, and only accepted when Tony told him he accepted being his official barrier against the evil.   
  
\- “So, I can cuddle ?”    
  
\- “Not so fast, Barton.” He almost growled. He barely saw his boyfriend in the whole week, and he had to share during movie nights ?    
  
\- “You can destroy my arm and hide behind it and the plaid.” Tony shrugged. “No real cuddles for you. Sorry but apparently, Bae’s jealous.”    
  
\- “M’not jealous.” He muttered, looking around in the room for some support. But they were all smiling, so he guessed he didn’t have any real friends here.    
  
\- “You are. And you’re mean.” Pouted the actual-child-Clint-Barton.    
  
\- “Now, now, boys.” Natasha said. “There’s enough Tony to go around. That made him laugh.    
  
\- “Are you sure of that ?” Laughed Sam, punching lightly Clint in the arm.   
  
\- “We’ll have to make do, sadly.” She replied, putting fresh and hot popcorn in a bowl. Not even microwave popcorn, no, Natasha Romanoff was against it.    
  
\- “Yeah, sorry but I report there’s only one me.” Tony raised his hands, in a fake peace gesture.    
  
\- “That’s too bad.” “Good.” Clint and him said at the same time. He glared at his friend.    
  
\- “Anyway. Everyone take your seat, it’s time.” Steve said, wisely, since it was probably going to turn in a (pillow) fight if any more jabs were exchanged.    
  
They all took their seats : Sam took the individual armchair, while him, Tony, Clint and Bruce were on the big couch. Bucky took notes in the way Natasha and Steve seemed rather close on the small loveseat. Interesting. But he quickly forgot about their friends, since Tony nestled against him, and he put his arm around him. It felt like a small paradise.    
It was, all in all, a very good movie night. They watched several horror movies, Clint being a little bitch only with half of them ( He really hid against Tony, but since the latter was just watching the screen and petting Bucky’s hair, he found that he didn’t care the least...) They ordered pizza, and actually managed to stop Tony from paying - that had him pouting for a good 5 minutes before Bucky kissed the pout away -, ate way too much popcorn and candies, and when time went to go home, they were all full of sugar, grease, and not to be too sappy, but of joy too.    
  
Steve, Tony and him after a last round of bye made their ways toward the car in a happy silence, and when Tony turned on the radio, the three of them sang to “I want to break free” like there was no tomorrow. By the time they were out of the car and getting up the stairs, they were still a bit giggly. They said bye to Steve, and quietly entered Bucky’s apartment. They made their way toward the bedroom in silence, almost tiptoeing, since it was already close to 2 in the morning and didn’t want to wake neither his Ma nor Becca. He let Tony go first to the bathroom, and did that right after. When he came back, his boyfriend had stripped his pants, and since Bucky remembered him being shirtless at New Year, he guessed it was in case they were woken by his Ma in the morning.    
  
In the 10 minutes he had left him, Tony seemed to have deflated. He seemed really tired, shivering like hell, and trying to avoid yawning. So Bucky didn’t lose any time, he threw back the cover and invited Tony against him. And like earlier, on Natasha’s sofa, he seemed to find his place in his arms like it was the most natural thing. Snuggling his sleepy love, he covered them up to the chin. He had to admit, even if he had wanted it, felt up for it, Tony would have surely felt asleep before even a little bit of making out.    
  
\- “I love you.” He murmured, after a few minutes of enjoying his boyfriend against him. He thought Tony would already be asleep, but the muffled response came back quickly.   
  
\- “ ‘ove you too..”    
  
He smiled in the darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello :) 
> 
> A small chapter today (not by far but still), and I hope you like it. I didn't want to let you go too long with nothing so yehhhh 
> 
> Next one will probably be between Christmas and New Year, but there's chances it won't be before the New Year so don't worry if it's not posted. And it's probably going to a small time jump, to get to the good stuff. 
> 
> Just in case then, I wish you all a merry holidays season, and I'll see you next time ! 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER : Howard is a dick, a bit of physical and verbal abuse, and mentions of alcoholism.

Tony was feeling good. If anything, that night with his friends and Bucky proved one thing to him : He didn’t need alcohol to unwind. To forget for a bit about everything else. There, against his boyfriend, in the dead of night, he had finally got reassurance of that fact. He didn’t need wild parties, enough alcohol to get hammered, and certainly not Sunset (even if he had known about her already, for some time now.). He felt good. Well, it would have been better to stay a bit more with James, but he still had stuff to do, and he needed to start looking at college applications, so for once, he had been raisonnable. He also didn't want to intrude too much and bother Bucky’s family. So he left, right before dinner after some more slow kisses, and promised to try and see each other on Sunday if they could.    
  
He drove, the head in the clouds, wondering where he could take Bucky to a nice date sometime soon. He parked, and missed Howard’s car in the garage. Since it was close to dinner, he didn’t find it weird not to find Jarvis, and thought he could find him in the kitchen, so he made his way toward it. He entered the living room to go toward the kitchen, to find his father, sitting at the massive table. A bottle of scotch halfway empty and a full glass in front of him.   
  
\- “Come here, Tony.” He felt his heart stop and a shiver go through him. But he knew the best way to avoid his wrath was to listen, so he did. He turned to face him, and made 3 steps toward the man. He still let 3 or 4 steps in between them. “Where were you, boy ?”    
  
\- “At my friend Rhodey’s, Sir.”    
  
\- “Mmh. And why did you take the night off, uh ?”    
  
\- “I.. Sorry, Sir ?” He blinked. Had he forgotten something to do ?    
  
\- “Why did you take the night off ?”    
  
\- “I finished all my work. And I.. Just thought I could spend the night with a friend.” He clenched his fists and hid them in his back, trying to not make himself small. It would be of no use, anyway. But it was still hard to fight against that instinct. Because when Howard was drunk, and talking to him like that, Tony felt like he was still 8 years old. A scared little boy.    
  
\- “Just thought, uh ?” He hit the table with his hand, and Tony fought back the jump. “Do you really think you can afford to slack off to see your friend, boy ?! Do you think that’s how you become a businessman ?!”    
  
\- “I…” He didn’t have time to finish that Howard just got up and grabbed him by the arm. He was squeezing hard, and Tony had to bite his cheek to not grimace.    
  
\- “You’re not a child anymore, Anthony. D’you hear me ? Start acting like a man, for god’s sake !” He was shaking him, like it would make the words enter his head easier. “You don’t need distractions.”    
  
\- “Yes Sir.” He swallowed, his voice almost cracking, and of course, Howard caught that, and squeezed even more his arm. It was going to bruise, for sure. “Yes, Sir !” He said, in a clearer voice.    
  
\- “Good. Glad you understand. Because you didn’t, I would have to take those distractions from you. Mark my words.”    
  
Tony nodded, and kept his gaze up, despite wanting nothing more than to look away from his father’s angry face. Tony wondered how a man could bear this much hatred for his son. Because it was clear as day, when he was looking in those eyes. He could not see anything else than hatred, perhaps even disgust toward him. And it hurt. Because here he was, nearly an adult, but feeling like he was a child, in front of his dad, who was screaming at him and looking at him like he was the worst thing he ever laid eyes on.    
Some times, before finally understanding, Tony wondered how Howard would look when he was looking at someone he truly despised. But then he got it. Even if they were related, Howard hated him.    
And maybe he had reasons. Tony wasn’t a very good son. Howard was saying it enough that he had accepted that fact long ago. He wasn’t a good heir either.    
  
\- “Now go away.” He almost threw him out of his way, before getting his drink and getting out of the room.    
  
Tony was left alone in the room, fixating the floor, feeling like his heart was pumping in his ears. He wondered what Howard meant, by taking away his distractions. He had been clear, before Christmas, that he knew the group Tony was frequenting. And he knew Rhodey of course, and vaguely Pepper. What would he do ? Make him change school ? That would be stupid, he would soon ship out to college. Force him to go home straight after school ? Well he was always away, Tony was sure he could do something about it.    
He took a deep breath. Tried to calm himself. But when he looked up, he saw the bottle of scotch, half empty. It was almost like an itch. To just grab it and drink. He realized how thirsty he felt, all of the sudden. Should have realized it was the first time since Christmas that he had the possibility of drinking (and not just a bit of champagne at New Year).    
  
He felt empty, in this moment. He wanted to drink, and was so, so ashamed for wanting to drink. He wanted nothing more than to stop thinking, and he had found alcohol to be the best way of doing so, but at the same time, he was still remembering his internal promise to do better, for James. He closed his eyes, tried to take a deep inhale, when Jarvis' voice made him jump.   
  
\- “Dinner’s almost ready, Sir.”    
  
He turned around, and looked at him with big, sad eyes. Jarvis immediately dropped his “formal manners”, as Tony had taken the habits of calling them, and his brow knit with worry. He took a step closer.   
  
\- “What’s going on, Sir ? Is it a problem with Mr Barnes ?”    
  
Of course. Jarvis didn’t even need Tony to tell him what was exactly going on with James for him to know. That was a Jarvis thing. But he shook his head.   
  
\- “Not really. I just.. Keep thinking.” He bit his lips. “Did you change, for Ana ?”    
  
\- “I don’t see what you mean, Sir.” He replied, in a soft tone.    
  
\- “Were you always… Good for her, Jarvis ?” He rolled his eyes, after hearing himself say it. “What am I saying, of course you were… You’re you..”    
  
\- “I do not believe you need to change for Mr Barnes, Sir.” He cut him, ever so softly. “Did he ask you to change ?”    
  
\- “No. No he didn’t. He wouldn’t.” He chuckled at the thought. “But I.. I think it’s only a matter of time before he realizes who I really am, really. Before he gets that I’m no good.” He shrugged.    
  
\- “I don’t think you need to worry too much about that, Sir. I think Mr Barnes may know better than you what’s good, for him at least. And looking in a mirror is no way to get the full picture.”    
  
Tony smiled sadly. Maybe Jarvis was right. He wished he was. But maybe he was wrong. Maybe Tony knew exactly what he was saying. Maybe he was going to hurt Bucky, because he was trash. Maybe it could have been avoided from the start.   
Maybe Jarvis was right, though. The small voice whispered. Maybe he was good.    
He wanted to believe Bucky, and the group, and Jarvis, way more than he wanted to believe his father and Sunset.    
  
\- “Maybe.” He rolled his shoulder, trying to get rid of the tension. And in a gesture more symbolic than anything else, he put the cap back on the scotch bottle, and put it away. Jarvis was still looking at him.    
  
\- “Did you have a good time at your movie night then ?” He asked, when Tony faced him once again.    
  
\- “I did.” His smile was more real this time. His arm was starting to hurt less. “They’re really good friends, you know ? I think they like me.”    
  
\- “With good reasons, Sir.” Jarvis' smile too, was growing.    
  
They went out of the room, and got to the kitchen to eat. Howard was nowhere to see.    
  
When he got up to his room, after that, he checked his phone, smiled at the group conversation going strong - Clint was stating how he had barely slept the night before and was still seeing things in the shadows - and checked the picture James had sent of the two of them, taken this morning. The smile that Bucky arbored in the picture was almost enough to soothe everything. He didn’t feel empty, looking at him. He didn’t think of Howard, looking at him. He could only think of how lucky he was, to have him.    
  
_ To BAEtiful - 20:47 : Wow. You’re cute.   
  
BAEtiful - 20:48 : You’re such a dork. Shut up.    
  
To BAEtiful - 20:49 : Am not. Just stating a fact. I don’t say it enough.   
  
_ _ BAEtiful - 20:49 : omg shut up i said. You’re the cute one.    
  
To BAEtiful - 20:51 : I love you.    
  
BAEtiful - 20:52 : I love you too, dork. You okay ?   
  
To BAEtiful - 20:53 : I’m fine.    
  
_ _BAEtiful - 20:53 : * heart emojis *_   
  
  
Maybe Tony didn’t need to change. Maybe he could just choose to be the best version of himself. And if he played his cards right, maybe the feeling of being a wolf in sheep’s clothing, the ugly duckling in the squad would soon enough disappear.    
And maybe, just maybe, if he asked nicely, James would kiss him better. Wouldn’t hurt to try. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ! 
> 
> Happy New Year, I guess ? Sorry for not posting before, but I small break did me good, I think, so I'm back :) 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING please read those before going in !! : Mentions of child abuse, physical abuse, and results of said physical abuse ! It is not a fluffy chapter, quite the opposite, so be warned. 
> 
> Bucky's POV but you will see/guess things heating up between Tony and Howard so beware of that. 
> 
> Still hope you like it :)

Bucky wasn’t dumb. Sometimes, teachers said something along those lines, that he was “slow”, maybe not “the brightest”, but truly, that didn’t mean he was stupid, nor dumb. And those teachers were jerks, because since, Bucky had progressed immensely at school, and had grades enough to get his scholarship for SHIELD. 

And okay, maybe he had been a bit thick, at the start of his relationship with Tony. The fake one, definitely, and the beginning of the real one hadn’t been all of that great either. They should have had a talk, rather than just kiss and go on their way.  
He had been oblivious, not facing correctly the music, and he had paid for that ; the false break-up was still one of the biggest heart-breaks he had experienced. (He hadn’t had many, anyway, but still.)  
So after the New Year, and their “couple’s resolution”, he decided to prove that he wasn’t an idiot. That he could pay attention. So he did. 

He and Tony were great. He loved him. Tony loved him. It was awesome, really. They went on dates as much as they could, spent dinners at his house, hung out with their friends whenever they could. Everything was great.  
But the more time went on, the more Bucky noticed. When Howard, Tony’s father was in town, they would see each other less ; Tony would text less ; and he was often tired-looking. He was saying a lot that he had “work” to do, and when Bucky tried to ask, he would just close off. It was a touchy subject. And when Bucky had tried to prode a bit more, Tony had sharply replied that he had no rights to talk about that since it was for SI, and the chilling silence that had taken place didn’t make Bucky want to ask again. (Tony had apologized, after. Kissing Bucky softly, saying that he was stressed, but he truly couldn’t tell him anything. And trying for a joke, saying that in any case, it was too boring.) 

Some things couldn’t be discussed, with Tony. His parents were also a no go, if you wanted to have a discussion. The only time he had talked about his father, he had only called him Howard. His mother still seemed to hold the official title, but it was still a sore subject and Tony didn’t like to talk about his parents. In fact, parents in general seemed to be a sore subject.  
When the crew talked about their parents, to various degrees - to complain about a punishment, to explain their family week-end, or how they had a long conversation the day before - Tony would almost always, in an almost imperceptive way, clam up. Not like, change the subject abruptly or leave, but he would either get his phone out and tune out the conversation, or get into a smaller conversation with anyone willing. Sometimes he would just get closer to Bucky and snuggle, and truly who was he to find this a bad thing ?  
And Bucky noticed the longing air he would sometimes get, when he was home with them, and Winnifred would just mess up his hair, or hug him, and he looked like a fish out of the water. 

He also noticed, of course he did, when they would get intimate. And often, when Howard was just out of town, Tony would want to keep most of his clothes on, and sometimes just push Bucky away rather than get naked. It took him more time to understand why, because often before Bucky made any gesture to get his shirt off, Tony seemed more than willing.  
But soon enough, he finally made the connection. With the fact that Howard had been 3 days in town, that Tony hadn’t responded to any texts the day before, and now he almost flinched at certain contacts.  
He also had occasions to see bruises. Not many, Tony was good at concealing them. But they were now in April, and 2 times since the first Bucky saw him sport a black eye. Once, he even had the cheekbone cut. And once, when his shirt rode up, he saw the bruises on his stomach. And they made him sick, those bruises and cut, but he couldn’t ask, couldn’t when Tony was already justifying them, and talking and saying everything was fine. That it was his fault, that he had been clumsy, he had not been paying attention, and accidents happen right ?  
Bucky didn’t know what to say, in those moments. Didn’t know how to act, how to make everything better. He couldn’t, really. So he would just nod, say that yes, they do, and hold Tony like a lifeline. He wished he could protect him, from this dad who seemed to hurt him, from the world who tried to hurt him too, and everything else really. 

Bucky wasn’t stupid, nor dumb, and he was kind of terrified to think what happened to Tony behind the heavy doors of Stark Manor. And he couldn’t bring himself to ask. 

It all came to a head, one night. It was almost midnight, and Bucky was still up, even if he was starting to yawn a lot, watching TV and kind of worried. It had been a good Friday, they all had lunch together and Clint had almost got his ear cut by Natasha, who seemed closer and closer to Steve almost everyday. Tony had taken him and his best friend home after, and Steve made quick goodbyes while they stayed a bit in the car to make out. But then Tony had to go home, so he didn’t ask him to come up, and they had texted as soon as he was at the mansion. And everything was all lovey dovey, when Tony had suddenly stopped answering, to him and to the group chat trying to organize a day out.  
Hours later, Bucky still had no news, and was trying to avoid sleep to get a text - surely Tony had good reasons, he always had, and he always texted. 

He jumped and fell from the couch when his phone started vibrating from the table. He realized he had been falling asleep, and snatched the object before it too fell on the floor. Without looking, he answered the call.

\- “Yes ??” 

\- “J-James I.. Sorry did.. Did I wake you ?” Tony’s voice was soft, weak, and immediately Bucky was on his feet. 

\- “N-No. No I was watching TV, it’s okay, are you ?? Okay I mean..” 

\- “Y-Yes.. I..” He breathed, the sound distant, like he had put his phone away to sigh. 

\- “Tony, tell me for real, are you okay ?” 

\- “I-.. I’m downstair. Can I come up ?” He sounded so unsure. Bucky was walking toward the door in an instant.

\- “Of course, come up !” 

\- “Okay.” The silence that followed worried him, when he simply realized Tony had hang up.

He walked toward the door, and opened it, trying not to make any noise and wake his Ma. Closing the door slowly, he made his way toward the stairs, and saw Tony’s silhouette finally making his way toward him. And when he saw Tony, it wasn’t a shiver that went over him, but maybe more something akin to ice spreading in his bones. He had bruises, forming along his jaw, his right cheekbone and eye. His lip was cut, his eyebrow too, and he was hunching over himself, his right arm against his stomach, walking slowly. He stopped, on the last step, looking like a deer caught in a headlight in front of Bucky. And he suddenly broke his heart.

\- “S-Sorry..” He murmured, almost inaudible, and took a step back. It finally put Bucky into gear, realizing that his boyfriend, his hurt boyfriend, was about to flee. 

\- “No ! Don’t… Don’t. Don’t go. Don’t apologize I.. Oh my god Tony..” And his legs acted on his behalf, taking him to Tony, and suddenly he was in his arms and he tried not to smother him, but he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t go, and he wanted to keep him safe, and his brain seemed to be broken. 

Tony didn’t flee. He stayed a few seconds, a long moment in his mind, there, in Bucky’s arm, without moving, seeming like he didn’t dare breathing too hard, when suddenly he bursted into tears. And he had to close his eyes, hard, not to cry too, because he had never seen Tony like that. He had never seen Tony fragile, broken, sad and desperate like that. He finally put one of his arms around him, and gripped Bucky’s t-shirt like an anchor. 

Bucky didn’t know what to do. He started to rock him, back and forth, to the best of his abilities since the position wasn’t the best, what with the stairs and all, and Tony’s grip on him, afraid to make them tumble. He tried sushing, slowly, and caressing his hair. 

\- “We should go inside…” He tried to murmur to his crying boyfriend, afraid his Ma would find him gone from the flat and freak out, or that a neighbour would find them like that. He wanted to put Tony in the warmth of his bed and take care of him, too. 

\- “H-He… He th..” Tony tried to say something, but couldn’t bring himself, and he wasn’t moving, so Bucky tried slowly to pull him toward the flat, while staying silent, and listening. 

Tony almost went slack in his arms, following him without trying again to talk, and Bucky didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing. But they made their way toward the door, and getting just one arm off him, he opened and closed it once they were inside. Tony was trembling, but Bucky thought it was more than cold, but still tried to let go of him to take a blanket - only Tony didn’t let him. He gripped him, his fingers digging in the shirt and almost grabbing skin, and looked at Bucky with imploring eyes still full of tears. So he let go of his idea, and took him once more against him, tightening his own grip of him.

\- “T’s’okay. I won’t let go. Sorry.” He breathed, closing his eyes when Tony hid his face in the crook of his neck. The silence wasn’t a nice one, it was crushing and tense and heavy, not breaking despite Tony's small noises. But Bucky still preferred it to Tony’s murmured confession breaking it.

\- “He th-threw me o-out…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again ! 
> 
> Tony's POV of last chapter + aftermath. I decided not to write the full confrontation, so we start right before Tony's phone call.   
> It's angst'o'clock somewhere and you've come to the right place. I suggest listening to cough syrup (glee cover) while reading but it's only a suggestion. I still hope you enjoy. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING please read those before going in !! : Mentions of physical and mental abuse on minors - aftermath of said abuse ; self-hatred ; some "suicidal thought" (not outright but still better to put a warning here) and homophobic content/slurs. You've been warned, it's not fluff !

He didn’t know how long he had stayed in his car. He didn’t know how long he looked at the building, with tears in his eyes he didn’t have any more strength to cry. He had maybe never felt this numb. Perhaps he had a concussion. It hadn’t occurred to him.  
The whole thing was a blur. He didn’t even realize he was in front of Bucky’s (and Steve’s) building at first. He had drove off, fleeing what seemed to be a nightmare but was his reality. Perhaps he should have gone to a hospital. Perhaps he should have called Rhodey, or Pepper. Or even James, to come and get him. But apparently, he hadn’t thought, he had just taken his car and came here. It was a miracle he hadn’t caused a car crash.

After a while, he had his first coherent thought in probably several hours. Perhaps less. Nothing made sense anymore. “Call Bucky.” Yes. Maybe Bucky would know what to do. Maybe Bucky could help him.  
He noticed how badly he was shaking, since he made his phone fall 3 times before getting a good grip on it. He realized while taking the phone to his ear how bad his arm was hurting. If he could think properly, he would understand the adrenaline was finally leaving his body. For now, he was just numb.  
Bucky didn’t answer instantly, and he thought maybe he wouldn’t at all, and fresh tears began to appear just as he heard his boyfriend’s voice.

\- “Yeah ?

\- “J-James I.. Sorry did.. Did I wake you ?” His voice sounded strange, on the phone. Was it really his ? It was weak and trembling.

\- - “N-No. No I was watching TV, it’s okay, are you ?? Okay I mean..” Normally, he would have caught the lie. In some distant part of his brain, he knew Bucky was asleep when he answered.

\- - “Y-Yes.. I..” He took the phone away quickly, to try and get a grip on his breathing, and his cracking voice. He wasn’t okay. But how could he say that to Bucky ?

\- “Tony, tell me for real, are you okay ?”

He couldn’t answer that. He couldn’t just say how he was, because if he started, he was afraid he would cry and never stop. He would drown in his own tears in this stupid car.

\- “I-.. I’m downstairs. Can I come up ?” He asked without thinking. Maybe he shouldn’t bother Bucky with this. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut, and should have driven to see Rhodey. But too late, he was here. And he had asked.

\- “Of course, come up !” He answered directly, and Tony closed his eyes for a second.  
  
\- “Okay.”

He hung up. He took a breath. He had to get out. He had to get out of the car, and go to Bucky, and maybe Bucky would make everything okay again. And so he went. He somehow managed to lock his car, and made his way towards Bucky’s floor. Each step reminding him of how hurt he was. And he was so tired. So, so tired.  
He wished everything could stop, for a moment. That was a nice thought. Stopping everything. Stopping the hurt.

And once again, every coherent thought left his brain. Not that much were going on anyway. So when he saw Bucky, in his pyjamas, looking at him, he froze. He realized this was real. He was there. In front of Bucky. Bloodied and bruised and so tired. He shouldn’t have been here. He shouldn’t have come here, to bother Bucky, like he had bothered Howard, like he was bothering everyone.

\- “Sorry…” The murmur left his lips in an instant, and he was about to backtrack, to just go back to his car and go somewhere, anywhere, because he couldn’t stand to be there. Not with Bucky looking at him like that, not being tired like that. He wanted to sleep.

\- “No ! Don’t… Don’t. Don’t go. Don’t apologize I.. Oh my god Tony..” He stopped dead in his tracks, blinking, and suddenly, he was against Bucky.

And everything just stopped, once more, in his mind. All he could do was breathe in the scent of James’s shampoo, and the familiarity of his body against his. The way James was engulfing him in an all protecting embrace, against the world, against Howard, against everything that could hurt him. He tried to blink, tried to stop breathing to avoid breaking, but it was too much and he bursted into tears. He was sobbing like a child, because he felt like one in this instant and he had tried his best not to cry since he took back control of his body but it finally sunk in.

Howard had discovered his relationship with Bucky, and after a beat down, had threw him out.

He tried to grab onto Bucky, like one would grab an anchor, but his arm was hurting too much now so he threw his left around him and grabbed the soft fabric of his t-shirt and hid against him, cried. And he knew he was making noise, somewhere in his brain he knew, but he couldn’t stop. Even with Bucky trying to rock him a bit, and shush him gently, he couldn’t stop the noises and the tears, like he had to purge himself of those. And when he heard him saying that they should go inside, of course part of him wanted nothing more, but he couldn’t seem to move on his own, and he tried to explain, but the words just didn’t come out. Perhaps if he didn’t say it outloud, it wouldn’t become a reality. Perhaps it was just a very bad dream. He let Bucky drag him toward his door, without thinking, moving with him, because at least he was with him, but when he tried to let go of him, he reacted on instinct, grabbing him harder with his left hand and looking at him with a silent plead in his eyes.  
  
\- “T’s’okay. I won’t let go. Sorry.” He immediately said, grabbing him once more, and Tony hid his face in the crook of his neck. He tried to breathe slowly, tried hard to stop crying, but he couldn’t. And he felt dumb, pathetic even, but he simply couldn’t.  
  
\- “He th-threw me o-out…” The words left his mouth, his voice breaking, but seeming to get the message across.

Bucky seemed to squeeze him out even more, and it hurt, physically, it hurt so bad, but at the same time it felt so good. It even managed to make him stop sobbing for a bit. Perhaps he hadn’t anything left to cry anyway. At that point, James peeled off of him, just a bit, still keeping his hands on him.

\- “Let’s.. Let’s see the damage, o-okay ? Just… Do you think you need the hospital ?”

He blinked. That was a hard question, it seemed, requiring him to think. He moved his wrist, and it hurt, but it wasn’t broken. It could wait. It would wait. He shook his head slowly.

\- “Okay. Good.. Let’s… Yeah. Let’s clean you.”

Bucky took him to the bathroom, and made him sit on the closed toilets. He dug out some disinfectant, and probably checked that nothing was bleeding too much and needing stitches. Once again, he kind of dissociated from his body. From time to time, he heard hisses, and that was probably him, but he didn’t feel it, not really. Howard’s words just kept on coming back. I won’t have a faggot for son, d’you here me ? I’d rather you were dead.

\- “Tony ?” He blinked, and looked at James’s concerned face. “Are you hurt somewhere else ? Except your arm..”

\- “Uh.” He thought about it. “Don’t think so. Maybe some bruises..” His voice was hoarse. He cried too much. Stark men are made of iron. He hadn’t been a good Stark then.

\- “Can you get your shirt off ?” He nodded, and did so. There was indeed some bruising, and with gentle fingers, James put some cream on it. “I’ll be right back.” He said, before leaving the bathroom.

Tony got up, after a second, and looked at himself in the mirror. Bucky had put a butterfly bandage on his eyebrow, and on his cheekbone. His eye was badly swollen, and bruises along his jaw were starting to take a nasty color, but since his skin was glistening, James had probably put some cream on it. He touched it, curious, and grimaced at the pain. Uh. His lip was badly cut too, but he couldn’t do much about that. Signet rings were a bitch. He blinked when he saw James back in the reflection. Turning around, he took the offered clothes.

\- “I.. It should fit. D’you need my help ?” He asked, softly. Tony shook his head, and started getting undressed. After all, James had seen him naked. The Worst thing really tonight was his face.

Despite still shaking like a leaf, he managed not to fall on his ass while taking off his jean and putting off the sweatpants. He put on the t-shirt too, and it was nice, smelling a bit like James. It helped ground him.

\- “Let’s get into bed, yeah ? I.. I’ll just leave a note to Ma.. She would freak if not, tomorrow..”

He imagined it. Normally, he would have laughed, imagining Winnifred barging into the room and screaming at them both for having sneak out Tony in. Before offering him eggs because he “didn’t seem like he ate enough”. But he realized that tomorrow, nothing would be funny about the situation. That she would probably just freak for real, seeing Tony’s face like that. He realized.

\- “B.. Becca can’t see me like this.” He looked at Bucky, panicking all of the sudden. Becca would be afraid of him. She couldn’t see him like this. He shouldn’t have come here, that was all a mistake, he should have known…

\- “Tony, calm down, sweetheart..” He realized Bucky was talking when he gently took his hands. He looked at him. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. I.. Don’t worry, okay ?”

He wanted that so much. Not to worry. He wished he could. He had to trust Bucky. He nodded.

\- “Okay. Good. Let’s go to bed, okay ?” He nodded once more. Bucky took him to his bedroom, and let him get in first.

He had put a fight, the first night here. Bucky’s bed was against the wall, where his wasn’t. So here, one was constantly stuck against the wall, and he hadn’t wanted him to be. They had drawn heads or tails, and he had lost. So he was against the wall.  
He was used to it now. And tonight, he almost felt protected. Nothing could get to him without passing Bucky first, and Bucky would protect him.  
James got into bed right after him, and lied on his back. Without thinking, he snuggled up to him, putting his head on his torso, and let his boyfriend embrace him. He was empty now. Not even numb. Just empty. He closed his eyes.

\- “I love you.” Bucky murmured.

\- “Me too.” He found himself replying. After all, now it was all that he had. Only his Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ! 
> 
> Back again, and I still can't believe I honestly thought when I finished Fake it 'til you make it that this one would last "4 or 5 chapters" lol   
> It's once again a Bucky's POV, and probably going to be alternating and going over the same events but from their points of view for a bit, I hope you'll like it !   
> Oh and it's going to be super angsty for a bit but fluff is going your way soon enough !!
> 
> Also, thank you a thousand times to all of you who comments, every chapter or just sometimes, it means a lot to me so thank you so much !! 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING (read those before going in please !!) : Mentions of physical abuse and results of said physical abuse.

Bucky woke with a start, and felt disoriented for a good minute. He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep, and he had been feeling like he would never be able to sleep that night, but apparently he was wrong. And when he finally remembered what happened the night before, his first instinct was to check on Tony. Tony, who was currently in his arms, gripping one of his arms even, rolled up into a ball, his back against him. And Bucky’s heart lurched, because nothing of this was fair. And he didn’t know what to do.

He had been on auto-pilot, yesterday, after Tony’s words. He hadn’t been able to understand at first, and he thought maybe he would wake up and realize it was not real. But it was. And he had cleaned up Tony, feeling sick at the damages Howard had done to his son. And Tony, he had just looked empty. His eyes had been empty, he had seemed even more on auto-pilot, lost in his own head, and he probably had been. He had made some small noises at the contact of the disinfectant, but seeing the gashes made in his skin, it would have probably should have been more than small hisses.  
And a small part of Bucky was glad, when he had finally put on his clothes, because Tony was here, with him, and he could protect him right ?

The thought had disappeared early on the night. Guilt had eaten at him. And the guilt was back.  
Because the truth is, Bucky hadn’t protected Tony. Bucky had done nothing for Tony. He had never asked what was going on. He had never pushed, when Tony said the bruises were accidents. He had never insisted to keep him here, when Tony looked so upset after a phone call. He never did anything. And now Tony was hurt, truly hurt, and Bucky had done nothing.

His grip on his body grew tight, and he realized he ought to stop before waking him. Because Tony should sleep as much as he could. And he thought of his Ma, who was probably awake by now, and wondering what Bucky meant by his note.

“ _Tony’s hurt and he came sleeping here, explain tomorrow sorry_ “, written in a shaky scribble. Yes, he should probably get up and explain. He permitted himself to enjoy the warmth of his boyfriend a minute longer, before slowly taking back his arm and getting out of bed. He made sure of covering Tony up nicely, and kissed softly his cheek before getting out of the room, without a noise. And as predicted, his Ma was here, in the kitchen, and looked at him with worry in her brow.  
And suddenly, Bucky lost it. He ran toward her, and hugged her, and hid in her neck, and started crying. Because all of this was too much. And he didn’t know what to do. And he felt so guilty. And Tony was hurt. But his Ma was here, and surely, surely she would do something. She would make everything better, right ?

She hugged him right back, for starters, and started shushing him, caressing his hairs slowly. She was whispering that all would be okay, that it was going to be okay, it was. And after a moment, he began thinking that it would. So he tried his best to stop crying, because he shouldn’t be the one crying, right ? He stood back, sniffling, and out of nowhere she pushed a tissue in his hand, and that almost got a smile out of him. He blew his nose, and gulped, trying to swallow down the knot in his throat, even if it was to no avail.

\- “What’s happening, Bucky ?” His Ma asked, in her softest voice. He closed his eyes.

\- “I..” He had to get it out. He had to. “His father.. His father threw him out. And he.. He beat him.” He clenched his fist, the image of Tony, so broken and vulnerable on the stairs breaking his heart all over again.

He vaguely heard his Ma gasped, and when he re-opened his eyes, she had her hand in front of her mouth. And he wanted to cry all over again.

\- “I don’t.. I don’t know what to do, Ma..” His voice broke, and once again he was against her, but this time it was her who initiated the crushing hug.

\- “It’s going to be okay, James.” She said, and the fact that she called him James meant she was serious. She was meaning business. And she proved it even more, when she let go, and looked at him, hands on his shoulder. “Does he need the hospital, James ? You should have woke me..”

\- “No.” He shook his head. “He said it was fine, and nothing seemed broken or needed stitches.. I.. I checked.” Of course, he wasn’t an expert, but he and Steve had seen their fair share of fights before.

\- “I’ll check him over, to be sure.. Or we could ask Sarah…” Of course, Steve’s Ma was a nurse. But he doubted Tony would want that.

\- “Erh, I don’t know Ma.. Don’t think he’ll want the attention.” He gulped. Tony didn’t like the attention at all, he had learned. The real one, the one where you worried about him.

\- “We’ll see about that.” He nodded, and finally sat in a chair, fixing his hands. He had never felt so lost. “We’ll make a battle plan with him, later today okay ? We’ll figure it out, James.” He nodded once more, then remembered.

\- “He’s.. He’s afraid that Becca’s going to be scared of him. I mean, with his face like that..” He bit his lips.

\- “Mmmh. Well it’s not like we can send Becca somewhere else in the meantime, so we’ll just have to explain to her. And I’m sure she won’t be scared of him.”

No. He doubted that. She would probably want to play nurse in her own way. He closed his eyes, remembering that time when Tony had said his money was his Dad, and he would be left without nothing if Howard threw him out. And she had replied he wouldn’t, because that would be terrible. The irony almost made him chuckle.  
He finally was dragged out of his thought by his Ma, who gave him Tylenole and a glass of water.

\- “Give him that when he wakes up, okay ? I’ll get breakfast ready.”

Once again, he nodded, grabbed the glass and the medicine and got back to his room. Slowly putting it down on his nightstand before getting ever so slowly under the covers. But when he saw Tony move his arm, he knew he lost that battle. So he took his against him, once again, and hid in his neck. He got the exact moment, when memories got back to him, because he felt Tony stiffen up from head to toe. And he tried to hug him harder without hurting him.

\- “Hey.” He tried, softly. When Tony stayed silent, he closed his eyes. “There’s.. Mh there’s tylenole, if you want.. And Ma is preparing breakfast.. I.. I’m sure she’ll make you an extra cup of coffee, if you ask.” He murmured, and ended with a small kiss in the crook of his neck. It was almost nice to see the shivers on Tony’s skin. But he was still tense, and he still wasn’t moving, or talking, and Bucky felt the pit of his stomach grew even more. “Are you.. Do you hurt ?” He corrected himself. Because obviously, Tony wouldn’t be okay.

\- “Yeah.” He finally heard Tony’s voice, well croak, and he didn’t know yet if he wanted to sigh of relief or cry of worry yet. He sat, finally letting go of his boyfriend, and grabbed the bottle of tylenol, not watching as Tony sat himself up too, slowly. He gave him the pills and water, and finally looked at his face.

It was worse than the day before. His eye had swollen so bad, it stayed shut. The bruises all took a rather nasty color, his lip was swollen too, and his good eye was red and puffy, surely because he had cried too much. And the knot in Bucky’s throat only grew. He wanted to punch Howard Stark. He wanted to end the man.  
But he couldn’t. So instead, he took the free hand of Tony in his, and waited for him to swallow the water.

\- “It’s going to be okay. I..” He looked at Tony, who probably wanted to throw him and his “okays” to hell. “I know it’s dumb, and useless, and.. Very dumb, to say that to you, because I’m not in your place, and I don’t know shit, I know but.. It is. Going to be okay, I mean. Because.. Because I’m here, Tony. And I won’t let you go until it is. Because I-.. We will be here for you. And I guess it’s not important, not this morning, not when everything is shit right now but.. I love you. I really do.” He squeezed his hand. And even if looking at his hurt boyfriend hurt, he kept looking. Because he wasn’t about to let go.

And the silence was deafening. He hated it. He could almost see the gears turning in his brain, and he wondered if loving Tony would be enough now, because would it really matter now ? He hadn’t acted to protect him before. He had done nothing for him. Maybe it was too late.

\- “At least you’ll be the pretty one of the relationship.” He croaked. And Bucky blinked, looking at him with eyes big as saucers. Because was it real ? Was Tony using his hoarse voice to joke at him ? “Well, just until I get my pretty all back but.. Still.” And there, Tony smiled. Not a bright smile. Not a smirk. But a small smile, while he lowered his eyes to look at their joined hands and squeezed. And Bucky could have cried.

\- “Of course. Just for a bit.” And he smiled too. He got his other hand to Tony’s intact cheek, and stroked his skin slowly. He looked at him once more. “I love you, Tony.”

\- “Love you too.” He said.

And he knew now, that his Ma was right. They were going to be okay. Maybe not right away, because it wouldn’t be easy, of course not, but they still were going to beat this. He knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! 
> 
> A smaller chapter today, and I'm sorry I haven't posted before but I was kind of in a slump lol But it's getting back. 
> 
> So I hope the "posting schedule" will be back on track ! 
> 
> Also sorry if the story is a bit slow, but I thought it was important to take time with all of that. It's going to be better paced soon, I promise :)

It was hard to have a coherent thought this morning. Perhaps, if he had been capable of  forming one, it would have been something like “perhaps he should have gone to the hospital for a concussion” or “Perhaps I should have taken something more for the pain” or something along those lines. Because as soon as Tony was “awake”, he only felt pain. Therefore, no coherent thoughts, only a banging headache. Worse than his worst hangover. He decided against moving and rested lying there for a long moment, but when he felt Bucky trying to get back in bed with him, he didn’t think he wanted to pretend anymore than he was asleep. He had thought he heard voices, and that was probably Bucky and his Ma. Or his imagination.    
  
The good thing about all of this, that he was so focused on pain that he didn’t think, nor remember much else. But when he finally remembered the answer for the question “Why was he in Bucky’s bed with a headache”, he stopped breathing for a moment. He only realized when James tightened his grip on him, that he did, so he tried to relax best he could. He didn’t think he did a very good job at it, though. But he tried to concentrate on the breathing on his neck and the warmth of James. It helped, a little.    
  
\- “Hey.” He murmured, and Tony didn’t reply, so he continued. “There’s.. Mh there’s tylenole, if you want.. And Ma is preparing breakfast.. I.. I’m sure she’ll make you an extra cup of coffee, if you ask.” He ended, with a small kiss on his neck, and that brought shivers to his skin. “Are you.. Do you hurt ?”    
  
He knew of course, that Bucky was asking despite knowing the answer. But he didn’t have it in him to be annoyed at that.    
  
\- “Yeah.” He replied, or croaked more like, since his voice was rough. Crying all night may do that to you.    
  
James let go, then, and Tony took it as his cue to try and sit. He did, despite his muscle being sore, and didn’t even try to use his right hand for balance. But he did, and after noting he couldn’t open his eye since it was too swollen, he grabbed the bottle and the glass. He tried to ignore Bucky’s eyes on him, not wanting to see whatever emotions may be passing right now. He wondered if all of this would be too much for his boyfriend, and if maybe, it would break things up. He immediately felt guilty after having this thought, and tried to drown it along with the pills by drinking. He was half done with it, when Bucky gently grabbed his free hand, and after gulping the rest of the water, he turned to look at him.    
  
\- “It’s going to be okay. I..” He blinked at the statement, throat suddenly dry despite the water he just downed. “I know it’s dumb, and useless, and.. Very dumb, to say that to you, because I’m not in your place, and I don’t know shit, I know but.. It is. Going to be okay, I mean. Because.. Because I’m here, Tony. And I won’t let you go until it is. Because I-.. We will be here for you. And I guess it’s not important, not this morning, not when everything is shit right now but.. I love you. I really do.” He kept looking at Bucky, barely blinking anymore, and despite his terrible face, Bucky kept looking at him, squeezing his hand, and looking oh so sincere.   
  
Tony kind of wanted to cry, all over again. But there were no more tears to shed, and he thought about Howard’s motto. “Stark men are made of iron.” It had always been a stupid motto, because iron wasn’t even one of the strongest metals, but he thought for an instant that he should be strong. He decided to be, in any case. He would be. Because Bucky was with him, and wanted to stay with him and help him, and he wasn’t about to break down every five minute and become a burden for his boyfriend.    
He felt once more a pang of guilt at the idea he had 2 minutes ago of Bucky leaving him. Because of course, he would never do it. Because he loved him. As much as Tony loved James. And that was the important thing. He would get a good grip on this and never let go. He promised himself.    
  
\- “At least you’ll be the pretty one of the relationship.” He finally responded, with his hoarse voice, looking at their joined hands. And when he threw a look toward James, he wanted to laugh at his shocked face. “Well, just until I get my pretty all back but.. Still.” He smiled, a tiny thing, but it wasn’t forced. It was a true smile.    
  
\- “Of course. Just for a bit.” James smiled too, and Tony knew. It would be okay. Maybe not right now. Maybe not right away. It would maybe take some time. But it would be okay. “I love you.”   
  
\- “Love you too.”    
  
He leaned a bit, and kissed his cheek, gently, before hiding a bit against James. And for a moment, it was okay. And it was everything Tony needed.    
  
\- “Alright.” He finally said, standing straight. “I’m kind of hungry.”    
  
\- “Of course !” James got immediately into motion, getting off the bed and helping Tony do the same.    
  
He was kind of anxious of Winnifred’s reaction, but it’s not like he had any choices. So he let James take him toward the living room. He had to admit, despite a slight nausea that the smell of food was getting him more and more hungry.    
It wasn’t silent, in the living room, which was nice. Becca was talking to her Ma, the TV was making noise in the corner and something was sizzling in a pan. So weirdly, when they got here, it was almost - almost being a key word - normal. Becca stopped talking, and had big eyes, but she quickly looked at her plate, cheeks red. Winnifred must have asked her not to look too much. And Winnifred, well she looked at him, but there wasn’t an ounce of pity there. Maybe a bit of sadness, maybe a bit of anger, but she didn’t let anything be too much seen on her face. She simply took 3 steps forwards, and hugged him.   
  
Tony thought for an instant that he would cry. Because too many thoughts went right into his head. How his own Mom may had never hugged him like that. How she would probably never do anything against Howard despite Howard throwing him out. How one of his parents called him slurs and beat him to a pulp for loving a guy. How he wished he had a mom like Winnifred Barnes.    
But he didn’t cry. Because he had cried enough, and he was tired of it. Because it would not help. It wouldn’t do a thing. So instead he returned her hug, tightly, and enjoyed it. And he understood how he didn’t only have Bucky in his corner now.    
  
\- “Alright.” She said, letting him go, but keeping hands on his shoulders. “I’m going to check you before breakfast. And if I don’t like what I see, I’m sending you to Sarah Rogers. She’s a nurse.” It didn’t sound like a question, so sagely Tony only nodded. “And if I really don’t like it, we’ll go to the hospital. And in any case, we ought to get you checked by a doctor, at least to have some proofs.” He went to open his mouth to say that no, he didn’t want that, when she cut him. “I’m sorry Tony, but it’s necessary.” She threw a look toward Becca. “But we’ll talk about that after breakfast.”    
  
Once again, he nodded. Bucky threw a small smile at him, and he let Winnifred took him to the bathroom, where she checked his bruises, applied more cream to it, checked his cut and his wrist. He thought that he ought to be embarrassed by it, by all the attention from his.. Mother in law, but it never came. Once satisfied, he let him get his shirt back. And as promised, she didn’t talk any more about it, just served him a big breakfast and even a cup of coffee. He smiled at her, and ate, his ankle around Bucky’s.    
  
Clearly, Becca didn’t dare look at him too much, blushing when he caught her looking, and he felt a pang of shame. Was she afraid of him now ? But when she finished her chocolate milk and toasts, she got up, approached him and without a word, kissed his “good” cheek, hugged him for 3 seconds and went to her room, blushing like mad. But he couldn’t help but smile.    
  
The Barnes Family was on his side. He had friends too, who would be as soon as they learned of everything. And it was going to be okay. Just like Bucky promised. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !
> 
> Sorry once again for the delay, but here it is :)

Winnifred had kept her words. She wanted to take him to a hospital, and she took him there despite his protests. But she had good reasons. She wanted proof, for something to stick, and stick it will, she said. He heard her mutter “Won’t get away easily” while they waited for the results. Bucky wasn’t with them, because someone had to stay with Becca. But it was okay, because Tony trusted his mother-in-law anyway.    
So he had gone through all of it, the exams, the photos of each and every bruise and cut on him, and finally, they were in the car to get home.    
  
\- “Why ?” He asked, in a small voice. “I don’t.. I don't want to press charges.”    
  
\- “I got that, Tony. But maybe one day you’ll change your mind, and then you’ll be glad.” He could see her point. “And even without pressing charges, he won’t get away like that.”    
  
He managed to stay silent for a good minute, before cracking.    
  
\- “What are we going to do ?”    
  
\- “Well. First we’ll let him know that we  _ can _ press charges. And we will, if he doesn’t do right by you.” He scoffed at that.   
  
\- “Do right by me ? He won’t. Won’t do anything good for a faggot like me.” He mumbled the last words, but apparently not low enough.    
  
\- “You’re not a faggot, Anthony.” Her voice was hard and he kind of slumped in his seat. “He will do right by you, if I have anything to say about it. We’ll go take your stuff back, and he’s going to give you an allowance. He’ll even pay for college.”    
  
\- “He won’t.” He said, in a small voice.   
  
\- “He will. Or else, we’ll press charges, and everything will go in the papers.” He frowned, and looked at her. “See how he likes it, to be known as a child abuser and homophobic prick.”    
  
Tony couldn’t believe his ears. Winnifred Barnes was always nice, sweet and kind. He had never seen her angry, never heard Bucky or Steve describe her getting upset at anything, in his mind the woman was something akin to a saint. But suddenly, he saw the truth : Winnifred Barnes was everything kind. Except she was still a Mother, a true one, ready for anything to help and defend her family. And apparently, Tony was now “Family”. He looked at her, despite her looking at nothing else than the road.    
  
\- “Thank you.” He said, in a small voice. She didn’t respond, but hugged him one last time before getting home. Because now, that small apartment was home.    
  
Bucky and him didn’t do anything much that saturday. They talked a bit about Winnifred’s plan. They watched Disney movies with Becca, helped Winnifred make dinner, and stayed in a little bubble all day. Tony kind of blushed behind the bruises when, at the time to go to bed, Winnifred took Bucky apart and he heard the word “protection” quite distinctly. Bucky came back red to his ears, so he was sure of what he heard. They both decided to not mention it ever again.    
Before getting into bed, Bucky applied more cream to his bruises, so gently he barely felt it. He couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend, and thought once more that “worth it” was maybe not the best term for the situation, but it still applied.    
  
They were silent, once in bed, spooning like there was tomorrow. But after a little while, Bucky finally talked.    
  
\- “Have you checked your phone ?”   
  
\- “No. Have you ?”    
  
\- “Yeah. Crew’s worried.” He seemed to hesitate. “Told them we would explain tomorrow. If that’s okay with you, of course. If you don’t want, I’ll tell them to fuck off.” He chuckled, because of course James would.    
  
\- “No, it’s okay. We’ll tell them.” He kept caressing James’s hand on his stomach. “They would ask too many questions on Monday if not.”    
  
\- “You’re going to school on Monday ?”   
  
\- “Well, yeah.” The silence was a hesitant one, and Tony heard the question Bucky didn’t ask. “I don’t want to stay hidden here. People would talk. And beside, what good would it do ?”    
  
\- “Okay.”    
  
And James didn’t question him further. And Tony felt grateful for that.    
He managed to fall asleep quickly, that night, lulled by Jame’s even breathes, and the warmth against him.    
  
  
James and he decided to ask the crew for lunch. They wanted to tell the story once, not repeat themselves, and felt it was better to do it before Monday. Tony noticed how at first, James had been reluctant to go out of the flat, but when Tony insisted, he quickly accepted. But before leaving the flat, Winnifred asked Tony for his address. It was James who gave it to her, and Tony couldn’t help a knot form in his stomach. What if he tried to do something to her ? She seemed to guess, because she said she would take Sarah Rogers with her, while Becca was with a friend. And in any case, he didn’t have any choices. He hoped Jarvis would be in the house.    
  
They walked toward the diner. Steve had spent the night at Sam’s, because they had a project in class, so it was just the two of them, hand in hand, walking. It was nice and sunny, and it could almost have been romantic. It kind of was, Tony thought, despite everything. And as he squeezed Bucky’s hand and got a beautiful smile out of it, he thought his boyfriend thought the same.    
But of course, the mood drastically changed when they arrived in front of the diner. And Tony had a small moment of hesitation.    
  
\- “They’ll have your back, you know ?” Bucky said, looking at him, sensing what was going on in his head. He only nodded, and they entered.    
  
Smiling like always, they went directly to the usual booth, since the staff knew of them already. The whole group was here : Steve, Nat, Sam, Clint and Bruce. All stuffed in the biggest booth. All deep in conversation.    
Of course, Tasha was the first to notice them. To notice him. And he hadn’t thought she could become any paler, the girl was part russian after all, but she did. And then Bruce followed her eyes and his expression and soft smile fell too. One by one, they looked at Tony, words dying on their lips and smiles disappearing. He started to blush, ashamed all of the sudden, but Bucky only squeezed harder his hand, and made him sit. He looked at them.    
  
\- “So..” He tried to start, and didn’t know who to look, and the words died in his mouth, tasting like ash.    
  
\- “Do you want a milkshake ?” Clint asked, in his most serious voice. Tony blinked and looked at him. Couldn’t help but notice the others exchanging looks. And he couldn’t help but smile.    
  
\- “I’d like that.”    
  
They ordered their usual, burgers and shakes, like it was just a normal day, and the knot in his stomach started to ease. So the words came back. James’s hand on his thigh helped.    
  
\- “Howard… My father threw me out. He had found out about James, and was angry about it. So… Yeah. You’ll have to endure my ugly mug for a bit.”    
  
\- “Hanw, no.” Sam muttered. “You’ll get bonus points for lunch and always get all the deserts. It’s not fair.” He chuckled.    
  
\- “Sorry dude.” He smiled.    
  
\- “So, you live with Bucky now ?” Steve asked.    
  
\- “He does.” James dared look proud.    
  
\- “If he ever becomes too much, you can crash at my place.” The blond replied, a smirk on his lips.    
  
\- “Mine, too.” Natasha said, smiling. Soon, they were all saying “Same”, and “Me too”, and Bucky looked more and more grumpy.   
  
\- “Stop trying to steal my boyfriend, you jerks.” They laughed.    
  
\- “I’ll consider it.” Tony winked. He got smiles in return.    
  
\- “So. To be serious for a minute.” Tasha said, in a more serious air. Tony nodded for her to continue. “What’s going to happen now ? If you want to tell us, of course.”   
  
For a second, he hesitated. Did he want to tell everything to his friends ? The response was obvious though, and he felt dumb for thinking about it even for a second.    
  
\- “Winnifred.. James’s Ma is supposed to erh.. Go see him, this afternoon. To tell him that he either can continue to support me financially and leave me alone, or.. We’ll press charges and go to the press.” He looked at the napkins dispenser, the air seemingly becoming more tense. A whistle broke the silence, and he looked up to see Nat with her raised eyebrow.   
  
\- “I knew this already, but Winnifred Barnes is a superior woman.” He and Bucky laughed.    
  
\- “Cheers to that.” Steve added in a chuckle.    
  
Soon enough, their food arrived, and they all collectively started acting like nothing was out of the unusual. Like it was just their week-end hang-out, for no reasons other than to see each other. And Tony was fine by that. Because he found that he craved the normality of it. He wanted to just forget, even for a bit, about that awful evening.    
  
Eventually, they were all sipping their milkshakes and listening to Sam recount some ridiculous story about having met a semi-famous celebrity on the subway, when Natasha scooted toward him.    
  
\- “Anthoshka.” She had started to use the cute nickname not long ago, and he had to admit it felt really good. She was still a bit terrifying, but she was his friend. “Can I ask a difficult question ?” She was talking in a low voice, not quite a murmur but something close. He nodded. “You said he found out about Bucky. How ?”    
  
He blinked. Because in all of the chaos of the fight, of the pain and of his escape, he had not thought about that. Even less while licking his wound this week-end. He had tried to not think too much about Howard and his words. But it had all started because he “found out”. And he had no idea how.    
  
\- “I.. I don’t know.” He frowned. She nodded.   
  
\- “It’s okay. It’s not important right now, anyway.” She patted his back, and returned to her milkshake with a small smile.    
  
He was brought back to reality by a burst of laughing and he managed to forget once more about Howard, for a few hours. They finally separated, all of them having different things to do, but they each took turns hugging Tony - despite him insisting that they were ridiculous and they didn’t need to do that. By the end he was blushing, they were all laughing, and Bucky, Steve and him took their way home.    
  
When they arrived, Sarah Rogers and Winnifred were having tea in the kitchen. And suddenly everything came back to Tony and he was kind of afraid - what had Howard said, what was going to happen, will he stay here, will he have to go back, all of the wrong scenarios invaded his mind. But Winnifred Barnes smiled at him.    
\- “It’s going to be okay, Tony. Don’t worry. It’s taken care of.”    
  
And when he smiled, he meant it. He trusted her. He trusted James, at his side, squeezing his hand. Trusted Steve, who patted him on his back, and Natasha and the gang, who would be here for him.    
He had a family now, and it was going to be okay. They would make sure of it.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ! 
> 
> So, I'm at a crossroad here because I have two choices : End the story in a chapter or two, or complicate things further to make it longer. In one hand, I find it hard to let go from the first "long" story I've written, in the other I don't want it to become complicated over nothing. So there might be a longer wait before the other chapters, while I decide where I go with it. 
> 
> Also, I watched the last part of To All The Boys I've Loved Before (which was my inspiration for the first part of the fic) and I don't know if I should make a little something along those lines for the boys, because I really liked the movie and the way it wrapped the story. 
> 
> Let me know ? I can always use advice, even if I do not guarantee I'll listen (if I really feel like this story is ended, then it will remain that way). 
> 
> And in any case, I might come back to it with one or two chapters stories with them. We'll see ! 
> 
> Sorry for the shorter chapter, I didn't want to add words just to fill up the count.

Bucky couldn’t seem to be able to let go of Tony. Not that he had really tried. But as soon as he was within reach, he needed to have a hand on him. Made the knot in his stomach ease up a bit.    
And when they got to bed, after what seemed like a stretched day, he went full octopus and got Tony as close as possible. And it felt perfect. Lightly brushing his back, he looked in his eyes, in the glow of his bedside lamp.    
  
\- “How’re you feeling ?” He asked in a low voice.    
  
\- “Better.” He had a small smile, and Bucky didn’t resist and kissed him softly.    
  
\- “M’glad.”    
  
When they got home, Steve and Tony and him, his Ma and Steve’s were having tea. It was an usual sighting, in week-ends, but nothing about this week-end had been usual, so of course they all had a huge sigh of relief when his Ma had promised that all would be okay.    
Apparently, Stark was a shark but presented like he had been, he had no other choices than to accept. They even signed papers, nothing too official because no one wanted words out, but every was written down. So Tony would be okay. Howard wouldn’t do anything more to him, and at least for a little bit, they wouldn’t have any money problems.    
  
Bucky knew it wasn’t the end of everything though, that Tony was still hurting deep down. That Tony would keep on hurting for a little bit, because his family had just let him down in the biggest way possible. That even if he didn’t say it, Bucky could guess that his Mom no-reaction was a big part of the problem. That he was going to miss Jarvis, and his wife Ana, still they couldn’t just show up to Stark Mansion now.    
A small selfish part of Bucky couldn’t help but be at least happy that now, they were together. That Howard couldn’t stand in the way anymore. Tony had chosen him. And everything would be better now.    
  
\- “It’s going to be a circus tomorrow.” Tony said, making Bucky open his eyes again, realizing he had been falling asleep. He took a second for him to puzzle the words and their meaning.    
  
\- “Natasha will help. She’ll just stare at everyone with her death glare and you’ll be okay.” That got a small chuckle out of Tony.   
  
\- “If she’s not too busy being lovey dovey with Steve though..”    
  
\- “Right ?! You noticed it too uh ?”    
  
For a moment, it was easy to forget everything. Just be teenagers in love talking about their friends. Because it was okay, just for now.    
  
  
The next day found Tony acting like nothing was amiss. So Bucky just rolled with it. Winnifred had prepared an extra cup of coffee and he watched his boyfriend thank her with his usual gusto and couldn’t help but smile. Becca was too back to her usual chatty self, and described in great details some missing plot details from her cartoon.    
  
Steve joined them for a quick cup of tea before the three of them got to Tony’s car. The exchange of usual banter finished to ease his nerves. Tony seemed fine, so everything would be fine, right ?    
But when they parked, he glanced toward his boyfriend to see his fingers whitened with the pressure of his grip on the wheel. And he felt really stupid for not noticing earlier how Tony was laying it a bit too thickly to just be “fine”. Idiot.    
  
\- “You okay, babe ?”    
  
\- “Babe, mh ? Resorting to sappy nicknames, James ?” He raised a brow, looking at him, smiling, but the smile didn’t quite reach the eyes.    
  
\- “You’re the one who started with Sugarplum, I believe.” He tried to smile too, and put a hand on Tony’s wrist. “It’s going to be okay.”    
  
\- “It’s not.” He shook his head, and looked at the crowd of students having a smoke, waiting for their friends, or just hanging there before class. He closed his eyes for an instant, and yeah, the knot in Bucky’s stomach was back. “They’ll all stare. Look at me like I’m a freak, ask questions. And what do I tell them ?”    
  
\- “To mind their business.” He frowned. Tony had never been shy, awkward or afraid of the others. Had he ? “And you won’t be alone.”    
  
\- “You won’t be in class with me, James.” He let out a sigh.    
  
\- “Well, you wanted to come today…”   
  
\- “You don’t understand.” Tony snapped, cutting him and Bucky’s first instinct was to be snappy too, but he forced himself to keep his mouth closed and to take a deep breath.    
  
\- “I don’t.” He nodded. “But I was going to say, you wanted to come today, but you can always drive back. And if you want to do this today, I’ll be with you. I’ll walk you to class, if needs be. And Bruce will be with you for the majority of the day, and we’ll have lunch together and..” He was starting to ramble, but Tony was smiling now.    
  
\- “I know.” He finally looked at Bucky, and he looked a bit more at ease. “I just.. I kind of want a smoke.”    
  
\- “If you smoke I’ll rattle to Ma and you won’t have any more coffee.” He raised his brow in challenge.    
  
\- “You wouldn’t.” Tony looked horrified at the thought of treason.    
  
\- “I would.”    
  
\- “You-”    
  
They both jumped out of their skin at the “knock knock knock” on Tony’s window. Natasha was looking - glaring - at them, so Tony finally opened his door.    
  
\- “We are waiting for you. Come on. Bruce is angsty you’ll both be late to Physics.”    
  
With that, they were out of the car. And the whole squad was indeed waiting, Bucky did not let go of Tony’s hand until the very last minute, when Bruce said they needed to go. Tony looked at him, smiled and kissed his cheek, before leaving and Bucky wondered if he was acting fine again. He kind of felt guilty for not having caught on before.    
  
Natasha hooked her arm in his, and looked at him.    
  
\- “He will be fine. He’s stronger than we know.” She said, in a tone that didn’t invite conversation. “But I need to ask you questions, Bucky.”    
  
\- “Sure Nat.” He shrugged.   
  
\- “Did he tell you more about what his father said ?”    
  
\- “No.”    
  
\- “Nothing at all ?”    
  
\- “No.” He was frowning now. “Why ? You should ask him if you want precisions..”    
  
\- “Something is fishy.” She was talking in a low voice. “Anthoska has always been careful not to let his father know. And suddenly, he does ?” She clicked her tongue several times. “We can not do anything against Howard Stark. But we can do something to the person who started this.”    
  
He blinked several times. Of course, he had wondered a bit about the “how” everything in this shitty situation came to be. How had Howard found out ? They had tried to be discreet in school, and it was a private one, so no paparazzi or anything. When out on dates, they also were careful, and surely it would have made the papers first, since Tony was a “semi-famous” heir. So someone must have opened his mouth. Question is, who ?    
  
\- “You’re right. But what do you plan on doing ?”    
  
\- “It depends on who it is.” She shrugged, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Bucky had to admit, she looked a bit scary like that.    
  
\- “You know, you should remember me to never cross you.”    
  
\- “I will.” She smiled, looking at him briefly before turning her eyes on everyone crossing their paths. Nat the detective it was then.    
  
By lunch time, Bucky was annoyed. Everyone was starting to murmur about Tony, about how he ended up looking like this, who had done it, etc. Some were even pointing fingers at him, like he was some sort of monster beating up his boyfriend. What kind of asshole would do that ? And the 2 times he had crossed Tony’s path, he looked uncomfortable, even if he was trying to hide it, and ready to bolt. Bucky would have understood. So when they finally sat all together around the usual table, he felt a bit better. They talked, laughed, he had to nag Tony into eating, and it felt normal. The lunch passed incredibly fast, and the feeling seemed to be shared because Sam and Clint proposed a coffee right after, to which everyone agreed in seconds. He decided to walk Tony to his next class to enjoy a few minutes “alone” with his boyfriend.    
  
\- “You okay ?”    
  
\- “I am.” His smile seemed fragile, but sincere, so Bucky kissed him lightly before going to his own class.    
  
Soon enough, they were piled into Tony’s and Nat’s cars, and around a table in one of the best coffee’s around town. Tony was looking better by the minute, laughing more freely and when he looked at him, he couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. He would do anything for Tony to feel good, but it didn’t seem to need much. A good coffee, among his best friends, with his boyfriend, and he seemed at peace. Bucky couldn’t ask for more. And when he murmured into his ear “I love you” and that Tony chuckled, stole a kiss and replied “I love you too” in a hushed tone (who didn’t suffice to avoid the whistle and laughs from their friend), well Bucky knew it would be soon behind them. They were already working toward “better”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. So. This is the final chapter of Cough Syrup. 
> 
> It's short, and centered more around Tony. I hope you like it. 
> 
> I should post an epilogue soon though.

Things didn’t heal in a second. Nor in a day, or a week. Things like that take time. And Tony wasn’t okay right away. He still had issues. And sometimes they had the best of him. And when they did, he would push Bucky away, and their friends, and sometimes even Winnifred. Or he would do dumb shit.    
  
Like for example, at a party 2 weeks after him moving in, where he got drunk and ended up in the hospital, scaring the whole squad off. He had refused to talk to Bucky after, ashamed, because breaking down and screaming that this was what he was like, a mess, like his father, a pile of trash, and that he was sorry. And Bucky had listened to him, biting back tears, until Tony had stopped, voice hoarse and red eyed. He then had snapped and had started to cry, begging Bucky for forgiveness. Bucky had then started to cry, and they ended up cuddling, while Bucky tried and reassured his boyfriend of his value, and of the fact that he was loved. Winnifred had found the two boys a mess of tangled limbs, asleep with tear tracks on their cheeks. No one really knew if it had been intentional or just a total accident on Tony’s part. No one wanted to ask either. They worried more about him, after. Found ideas of things to do instead of going to parties, just in case.    
  
Winnifred had found him, once or twice, on the couch at odd times in the night. And when she would ask what was going on, he would shrug, and start crying so each time she would hug him, and assure him too that it was going to be okay and that she loved him. Once or twice, he had muttered things like how he wished his own mother would have told him that, and Winnifred had the hardest time not going to that woman and telling her what was on her mind. But she couldn’t, so instead she would hug her boy and pray that nothing else would go wrong for him. She would make him cocoa and after would tell him to go to sleep, that it would be better in the morning. And Tony would pretend everything was peachy at breakfast.    
  
He once had disappeared from school in the middle of the day, without a word to anyone. Bruce had just asked Bucky “so where’s Tony ?” and they all realized he was not on school grounds. They had all started to search for him and finally had found him in the parks they would sometimes hang out together on the week-ends. They all looked at him, and Bucky went to go first, but Natasha stopped him and went to talk to him. They had all watched, curiously from afar, the conversation getting apparently heated and when Nat had slapped him all of the sudden, the sound echoing all around. Bucky had to be held back by Clint and Steve, when suddenly Tony had begun crying and hugging Nat, who rocked him and calmed him.    
No one even knew what had been said between them. But after that, things started to get better.   
  
Tony had chosen not to drink anymore, when they went to parties. He had a discussion with everyone, and told them that he didn’t want to end up like Howard. That alcohol was really not a good thing for him. They all supported him, and had stopped drinking too around him, except for sometimes the exceptional beer. He would sometimes indulge with them, but it was a rare occasion and never anything strong.    
He had also decided to start therapy. Winnifred had suggested it, and after the hospital and some concerning comments, she had a good talk with him. After the infamous “Nat’s Slap”, he made his first appointment. They all once again supported him, reminding him how it was the best choice for him. The first times were hard, and he spent hours crying on Bucky's shoulder when he went home, without explaining what was going on. But it was his stuff, so everyone respected that.    
He also realized he sometimes needed a bit of time “off” from his boyfriend. And Bucky too, needed that. It wasn’t just all of that healthy to be stuck by the hip. So he began spending week-end with the others, alternating, and Bucky sometimes did the same. And he also went to Pepper and Rhodey, to have friends of him too. They met Bucky and approved, so that went well.   
  
And in all of that, of course, Bucky was a constant. Always there for him, or with him, with hugs and words and everything he could ever need. They still talked, the night in bed, sometimes murmuring sweet nothings, sometimes having more serious conversations about what had happened, and what could happen. But when he finally realized Bucky wouldn’t leave, and that he wasn’t trapping him, like he had been trapped in abusive relationships, everything felt better. He became more at ease with himself, and they even had a few psy appointments together. They were growing together, and in a good sense too.    
  
All and all, Tony was starting to feel better. And while everything was going on, Natasha kept on doing her research. And when she found the culprit on “who outed Tony”, she didn’t say anything right away.    
But suddenly, photos of Sunset Bain cheating on Tiberius were found all over school. Everyone rose a brow, since it was almost “common knowledge” but not something anyone talked about in the open. The fight between the two had been entertaining. Tony thought for an instant “oh well karma”. Tiberius broke things off, and it seemed to be the end of that.    
But Tony wasn’t dumb. And he looked at Natasha, that afternoon while they were all talking in the parking lot. He took her hand.    
  
\- “It was her, right ?”    
  
\- “I’m sorry, Anthoshka.” She replied. It was confirmation enough.    
  
He thought about confronting her. Wondered why she could have done it. But then the answer felt obvious. She probably wanted him to hurt. Either he would have to let go of Bucky, or he would face his father’s wrath. She had probably thought he would choose the first. Maybe that he would have gone back to her, once alone again, and to reassure his father that it was over.    
He wondered about what he could tell her. But he quickly found this lacking. What could he possibly tell her anyway ? That she lost ? He still was kind of homeless, thanks to her. That at least she didn’t win ? She probably wouldn’t care. Ask her why ? That wouldn’t make him feel any better.    
It was painful to get that Sunset had been where everything had gone wrong in the recents months, or the last year. He wondered where he would be right now, if it wasn’t for her. Maybe he wouldn’t be with James. Maybe he wouldn’t have this many mental health, and selve-value problems.    
Maybe it would have been the same though. He couldn’t forget that Sunset wasn’t everything wrong with his life.    
  
He tried to forget about her. To concentrate on himself, on healing, on finally getting better. Then, in the style of mean girl, pages upon pages of Sunset’s texts were also found all over school, in lockers, on the ground and slipped under doors. She was shunned by her remaining friends, but tried to keep her head high.    
  
When Tony looked at her, eating alone at the table, he turned to face Natasha, once again.    
  
\- “Nat ?”   
  
\- “Yes.” She nodded. She wasn’t denying it. And creating as it was, he didn’t need more confirmation that this was her too. He smiled.    
  
\- “You didn’t have to do that.”    
  
\- “No, I had to. She messed with family. My family.” She shrugged and spiked her pasta on her fork. He turned to his own plate, smiling. And when Bucky squeezed his hand under the table, he smiled even more.    
  
  
Tony still felt empty on some nights, looking at his phone and wondering why his mom didn’t reach out. Tony still felt like he was intruding, sometimes when they were having a “family dinner”. But sometimes, he would feel right at home, when they would have a movie night with the squad, or when he and Bucky would go to get Becca from school. He would sometimes feel down after an hour pouring his heart out to his psychiatrist, but when he would get home, he would have Bucky hugging him and his friends ready to come with pizza.    
  
Tony was finally starting to get back up, and that was all that mattered. And with James at his side, he knew he didn’t need to fake his smile anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, end of Cough Syrup and for now of the Fake It 'Til You Make It serie ! I'll be back with an epilogue shortly but the main thing is over. 
> 
> But I don't think it is quite the end of the story, so maybe subscribe to the serie so you won't miss out if I post something else.   
> I also have 2 winteriron stories in the making, and other ideas to come ! 
> 
> I hope you liked it. Thank you so much for reading. And thank you to those who took time to comment, especially every updates !   
> Also considering opening a tumblr to get prompts, idk if you would be interested in that, but let me know. 
> 
> Thank you for following me on this. You're the bomb. See you next time ! And take care.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you order a super cheesy epilogue ? Because I got one for you !

-”Stop it Bucky !” Tony squealed in his arms, before giggling at another round of kisses in his neck. 

\- “Now why would I do that ?” He answered, tightening his grip on his boyfriend. 

\- “We have stuff to do, you big loaf.” 

\- “Ouch. That’s not very nice.” He answered, leaning back to look at his Tony. 

Everything seemed fine, now. Tony seemed happy. The “down-days”, as they had started calling it, were now pretty rare and not too bad. He still had a hard time with his mother’s non reaction considering everything, and had had a meltdown at the large sum of money that had appeared in his bank account from her’s. But apart from that, things seemed to be fine.

\- “You’re tickling me, of course I’m not nice.” He said for response, with red cheeks and bright eyes. Bucky couldn’t help but smile more.

\- “M’not tickling you, m’kissing you.” 

\- “You’re not. Now stop it.” He giggled once more, and finally managed to push Bucky off of him. “You were the one who promised your Ma we would clean and cook dinner for tonight.” 

\- “Uh. Guess I did.” He sighed. “Just wanted to take my mind off the acceptances - or rejections letters. 

They were all waiting to hear from all the colleges where they applied. Bucky didn’t doubt Tony and his bright future for a second, but he did doubt his. 

\- “And what better distraction than my boyfriend uh ?” He added, trying not to break the mood too much. 

\- “Stop it.” Tony mock-glared at him, hands on his hips. “Stop trying to distract me, stop spiraling about those letters, which I’m sure will be good, and stop procrastinating. C’mon. You promised me pie !” 

He laughed, and got up too, before stealing a small kiss from the shorter man. 

\- “I’m not spiraling… Well, I am, a bit. But how could I not ?” 

\- “Because you’ll obviously be fine. You already had a letter of acceptance anyway..” 

\- “Yeah, in NYU. Not from Boston…” 

\- “And ?” 

Tony was good at pretending everything was fine. Bucky wasn’t. And right now, he hadn’t any more patience to try and do that. 

\- “And you know very well what. We would be miles apart… You’ll be at MIT and-”

\- “Okay first of ? We still don’t know if I’ll go to MIT.” 

\- “Tony…” He sighed, sitting once again on the bed. His boyfriend joined his side.

\- “Second, so what ? Even if you stay in New York and I go to Boston, I’m not scared.” 

\- “You’re not ?” He frowned. 

\- “Am not. Because I trust us. And I know we’ll make it.” He shrugged, like it was the easiest statement he had made. 

\- “You know it ?” He raised his eyebrow. 

\- “I do. Because I love you. And you love me. And we had worse.” Tony looked at him, grabbing his hands. “It’s going to be okay James. Trust me. Trust us…” He smiled. “Plus, maybe your acceptance from Boston is in the mail. As is mine ! We still don’t know anything for sure.” 

\- “Right.” He rolled his eyes, because there was no way Tony Stark wouldn’t get his acceptance letter from MIT. “You’re right though.” He smiled. “I trust you.” 

\- “I’m always right.” 

\- “No you’re not. You broke up with me at Christmas.” 

\- “Okay, exception confirming the rule !” He laughed. “I love you.” 

He looked at his smiling boyfriend, and couldn’t help his heart to be all fluttery still. Because despite now living together and loving the guy, seeing his worst moments and his best, there was no denying it. Tony Stark was still his crush. 

\- “I love you too.” He kissed him, slowly, before looking at him all serious. “But can I ask you something ?”

\- “Anything babe.” He smiled.

\- “Will you start calling me Bucky ?” 

\- “Almost anything.” Tony nodded. “But not that.” He let go of Bucky’s hands and started going toward the living room. 

\- “Tony !” He laughed, going after him. 

\- “Sorry, Sugarplum, you’ll have to suck it up.” He wiggled his eyebrows. 

\- “Wait, i’ll start tickling you for real you-...” He stopped, running after him, laughing like a lunatic. Tony bolted out of the room. 

Tony was right. Even if they were apart, they would find a way to make things work. Because they always found ways to make things work. And if at first it wouldn’t be fine, Bucky had just the solution. They’ll just have to fake it, until they make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much for following. 
> 
> Take care !

**Author's Note:**

> Take care !


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